8 Fears

8. Not getting a job that I like
5. Not getting paid well. I'm actually worried about being poor.
3. Being single forever. BOO.
1. Dying alone with 40 cats. I think the cats does not scare me that much. Its the being alone part.
7. Being a parent. Haha don't ask. Long story, seriously.
4. Failing. Not achieving some of my dreams
2. Falling for the wrong guy. Seriously.
6. My family members leaving me. ONE. by ONE.

Pains of Society

This really saddens me. An 8 year old kid killing herself just cause she thought she was fat.

Stupid people who put such pressure on others.

9 Loves ♥

1. The immediate Fam Bam

2. Myself
3. The extended fam bam
4. Skating
5. Nawwar + Aliah
6. Shiori + Zoe
7. Jo + Mer

8. My new found interest in education
9. The ONE that got away
10. My books.

Absolute Loves. ♥

10 Secrets

1. Sometimes, I don't know why I'm still here. It beats me that I'm still here, struggling and fighting.

2. I wish that I could turn back time and erase some things in my life.
3. I sometimes would like to act upon impulse but I've never been strong enough to tell myself that I'm able to deal with whatever that comes later.
4. I sometimes sit and just wait. Wait for things to happen, the simplest things from getting a greeting to having someone walk up to me just cause they care enough
5. Many times, I feel so isolated that all I wanna do is pack up and go home.
6. I would really like a lot of things to change without me having to change who I am cause I am who I am but people don't seem to see it.
7. I wish that I was actually given the opportunity to pursue skating in Russia like I was promised and
8. That I actually said yes when my dad asked me if I wanted to quit school and just skate.
9. I often wondered how different things would be now if I had not come here. I do this A LOT.
10. I always think about how I want things to be. Like, how it would feel like if things went this way and if I was doing this or if I did that, how the outcome would be. I take forever to decide because I usually fear a bad outcome. I've been so impulsive over the years its made me suffer. So now, I've decided to think think THINK.

FIsh Oil and Hair

Anyone who said that fish oil for your hair is great, they must've had some insane stuff to get rid of the smell.

Sigh. 

As you can tell, mine own experiment with it FAILED. 

Okay maybe not FAIL, but my hair still smells of it. OMG it is HORRIBLE. 

Sure I like eating fish and everything (it is my favorite type of meat, if you will) but holy smokes, this is insanity.. -.- My room smells, my hair smells, my hands too I think. Yep, my hands too. -.-

Okay, so I've not only kinda washed it, (I rinsed it -cause I washed my hair at the meet!-) put the Fructis thing on, let it soak for about 8 minutes, washed off, put hair product, from two companies and by goly, the smell was still there, put a small spritz of perfume until I remembered that the alcohol from it would've wasted my efforts of using the fish oil in the first place! and then put body lotion on it cause Cory said that Heather does it and her hair is super soft) 

So okay, all that and the smell is still there. GAH SAVE ME. 

On a sidenote, 

Found this on Tumblr today. Kinda goes with how I'm feeling but my question is...

HOW. 

Most puzzling question of my life. 

HOW THE FUCK DO I FUCKING PAVE THIS FUCKING ROAD!? 

urgh.

Why I Love Weekends

A list of things I did over the weekend :)

Watched Green Hornet (which was SUPER AMAZING  by the way!)

Went to the beach and napped there. SO NICE. :) 

Did facials with my girls (FINALLY! After a WHOLE YEAR of talking about it)

Went hiking (TWICE! HELLO! :) Had a mini picnic on the 2nd one too)

HEHE :) I love weekends + public holidays with free time. 

Sighhhh

I crave more now. 

AKKK!

It is Friday today.

You know what that means! :D

GREEN HORNET :)

I've been waiting for this day for TOO long.

It has finally arrived. :) 

OH Jolly :)

And Monday is Martin Luther King Jr Day.

HOLIDAY!!!!!! :) 

Dah Lama Tahu Dah

Dah lama aku tau kau takkan bagi aku peluang.

Biarpun kalau aku rajin. Biarpun aku lakukan segalanya.

Apapun kau takkan bagi aku peluang. Kau tak peduli akan perasaanku.

Dah lama aku tau dah. Tapi aku tak cakap apa. Biarje.

Sekarang kau dah terlampau dah.

Terlampau.

Who What Where?

I have acne/pimple scars on my face and it is driving me INSANE.

The idea of them still being there is making me lose my mind. 

So I decided to google it and see what are the natural ways of ridding them.

Eat fruits and vegetables

Load up on lemon juice

Maintain a balanced and nutritious diet

Try rosehip seed oil

Apply Aloe vera gel or juice

Treat your scars with tomato

Heal them with olive oil

Use honey

Lather with lavender oil

Rose water and sandalwood

Rub them with ice cubes

Make your own face mask

Multani Mitti paste

GOOD RIDDANCE! Time to start. 

And I was browsing through Zoe's blog and this was what I found. Hmm. Dunno how to feel about that post but hmm nevahmind. 

I went to the Track meeting this afternoon. This is it...

Track season has officially begun.

I dunno how I feel about it. I honestly feel very calm overwhelmed. I sure did not feel this way last year. Maybe cause the pressure of doing well is there and the studies and work and everything else.

Oh boy. 

I need mom and dad to talk to. Where are youuuu :( 

SIGH.

:)

I found this on my tumblr and I thought it was pretty cool :)

Anyhoo, my week had been pretty interesting :)

Photos later when I'm bored :D

Childless.

I do not want children even though I ABSOLUTELY HATE adore them. :)

I would like to save a child from the misery of having a bad parent.

But this is super cute :)

You have to agree with me on this one.

More Than Just Talking The Talk

Time to walk the walk.

2011 is well into its way now. :)
Time for new year resolutions. :) Usually by now, mom would've forced the fam bam to put them in this little box in replacement of the ones last year. Anyway!
Let's Begin!

Studies:
1. Straight As. :) Still. Time to work SUPER DUPER DUPER hard. And this shall come with me actually understanding it and then getting the grade and not doing for the sake of the A.

2. Learn new things and apply them to daily life.
3. Communicate with professors, talk to them and constantly ask questions.
4. Muster my languages. Seriously. Be fluent. :) In time for study abroad :)

5. Learn harder songs on the violin and the piano :)

 

6. Learn sign language on my own (more than A-Z)

7. Balance Work and Study. 

Sports:
1. Work on the belly -.-
2. PR in something :) Track or Swim.

 

3. This ones a maybe (depending on finances) take up skating classes and land my axel on a consistent level.

4. Pick up a new sport. :)

Personal:
1. Chant A LOT. Twice a day at least 20 minutes each. :)

2. Keep room clean and tidy at all times.
3. Know where everything is.
4. Eat healthy. No rice for dinner. :)

5. Think of personal development.
6. Make plans for the future.
7. Start looking into stuff that will help me grow as a person :)
8. Drink more water.

Friends:
1. Time to be a...

Justin Kunimoto :)

2. To talk to more new people on a fundamental level or in lay men terms, get to know them. :)
3. Chant for all my friends and lost friends for their happiness and good health.
4. Connect with all those I lost contact with.
5. Get to know people better. :)

Miscellaneous:
1. To dance under the moon with ONE guy at a time. Sounds wrong. But okay, think of it this way...
I wanna dance in the moonlight, like, slow dance, you know? but with a guy. :) DUH.
2. Have my hair grow down to my elbows.

3. Call mom, dad and Tristan more often.
4. Be able to rebut on an intellectual level.
5. Accept the fact that I was wrong/ lost.
6. Figure out plans for summer. :)

Did I miss something..? Hmm. I don't think so. :)

What is your new years resolution? :) 

2010 vs 2011

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Spent New Years in New York! :) Seen REAL snow, been single for a whole year :D (a whole bunch of other stuff too!)

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Haha I think sooo :) And YES!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
She was pretty close. Yeah.

5. What countries did you visit?
Singapore and Indonesia! :D

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Will power!

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Hmmmm. July 18, December 15. Grandma and my one year-ness. :D

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?My one year-ness! My love for swimming, my personal growth I guess? :) 

9. What was your biggest failure?Too many things at one time!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Shin splints? :) HEH

11. What was the best thing you bought?A PHONE

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?Mark Seow :) And mom. :) <3 Actually dad and Tristan too :) 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Depressed not so much. Appalled would have to be him. :) 

14. Where did most of your money go?
FOOD and *ahem* Christmas gifts. ^^

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
One year-ness, Sabah, Tristan's good results, Christmas and Singapore! :) 

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2010?Last Christmas? I think. No songs in specific really.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

• Happier or sadder? Definitely happier. :)
• Thinner or fatter? fattterrrr. BOOOO
• Richer or poorer? poorer :( 

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Go see grandma & grandpa more.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Being sad for 10 months straight, staying up late, being messy. :)  

20. How did you spend Christmas?
I dropped Choy Shin off at the airport with Yoshi & Emiko then headed to the observatory :) 

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Nope. :) 

23. How many one-night stands?
ZERO. :) I'm proud of that! :) Not changing anytime soon :) 

24. What was your favorite TV program?Family Guy! :D

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nah. :) No time to hate. :) 

26. What was the best book you read?
Erm, Dear John :D

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Landon Pigg!!!! :)

28. What did you want and get?
A bunch of perfume. And I did. :) A PHONE!

29. What did you want and not get?
Good grades. Or at least grades I wanted. 

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Letters to Juliet, Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes. :)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Had dinner with some friends. I turned 20! :) Big two OH.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Letting go. Finally. Turning my focus to something else and making a new friend. Surprisingly as well, my summer.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Mix of a bunch of stuff. 

34. What kept you sane?
Shopping, emailing Nawwar, talking to Zoe, Mark and Shiori :)

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jay Chou! :D

36. What political issues stirred you the most?
Don't Ask Don't Tell. :)

37. Who did you miss?
My FAM BAM! My cousins, my friends back home. 

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Too many to name. I'm sorry. Can't pick. :) 

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Move on :) Answers reveal themselves when the time is right. :) 

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
" Baby you're a FIREWORK!" :) 

Day Ten: One confession

1. I like you. :) But you don't know. I think.

HEH.