Friday, March 25, 2016

Who's A Hot Mess?

Whoa.

The last month has been such an insanely busy one!
I've taken yet another break from the blogging because I was busy conducting work/catching up with school, and... my life in general.

From my current position, looking at myself, I am somewhat of a mess.

I just found out that:

1. The Visa I had intended on getting cannot be obtained with my current Visa.
2. After this semester, I only have till August to LEARN and make all the mistakes I can make in my Korean learning process.
3. Everyday is a conscious and painful effort to focus on my work, and not on the social media of the person I wish I could talk to instead.
4. I'm starting to wonder if I'm sane anymore. Especially with what I say. I could've sworn that I said A, but I end up getting an angry recount of what I said because I've offended the opposite party. That or what they recall is definitely different from what (I can positively attest to) I've said.
5. This one isn't particularly pressing but. For the school club activities, pizza parties have been scraped, and so have... performing (especially so for Dance and Singing Club. What's the point if we don't showcase the awesome stuff we've learnt?)
 6. I'm worried about my future, and my family, especially my parents and how they're taking care of their health :( & also my beloved doggy. Mom told me that she was really sad when I went away for 2 days (after going home), so much so, she didn't wanna eat. That breaks my heart.

One good news is I managed to complete Level 4, albeit barely. I made it! But it still scares me that I just barely made it :( That means I have a lot to work on as I work through all the other stuff. Which, isn't necessarily a bad thing cuz thankfully I have two REALLY AMAZING teachers. One from my last semester, whose classes I really enjoy, and the other who knows her stuff at a godly level, and is really diligent in teaching us :)

With all that said, I have so many things to be thankful for.

1. I'm thankful for being able to afford to live in a place that has heating. It's no longer winter but it's still pretty cool out, and having hot showers is most definitely something to be thankful for.
2. The classmates I have this semester are pretty great.
3. My roommate makes having a roommate easy. She's super open to new things, she talks a lot, thus is CONSTANTLY keeping my (also) talkative self entertained at all times.
4. My students' moms really like me, and as much as I am no professional, it is always truly heartwarming to hear them tell me that their kid says "that was fun!"and one of them has offered me a job at her center with a visa and housing too. Something to consider & be absolutely grateful for.
5. I get to get my beautiful voice heard on the Korean airwaves, and I get to meet some really nice people when I work at the radio station. An opportunity that nothing can really replace (:
6. People around me are not terminally ill and I get to still hang out with them even if they're physically remote from me. Something that I've often taken for granted. :(
7. I got to meet up with my home boys and girls, and just the fact that I got to fly home to do that with no hiccups, is tear jerking, painfully GOOD.



I think I've lost myself a little bit. 


Now, it's up to me to make things work. 
Time to get back up. 




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