A Dialogue I Had with Myself

A few days ago, I had a conversation with myself. It went a little something like this...

Contents have been modified to make sense of the conversation without revealing the personal bits/person(s) involved.
To make things easily comprehensible, I will name myself K & H. K for the conscious, H for the subconscious.

H: Wasn't that weird? Don't you think that was really weird?
K: Yeah dude. It was.
H: Here's the more important question. Why are you down grading yourself, why do you let yourself be the person who gives in first?
K: I don't know. I just..
H: I mean, don't you respect yourself enough to be take a step back and just let things happen naturally? Why do you always put others before yourself first?
K: ...

H: I mean, look, I get it. But don't you think that question makes sense? Don't you think you should re-evaluate your situation thus far? It only makes sense as to why your friend exit rates are this high..
K: Hey, I have people who love me too!
H: Right. But you also have some who've said goodbye and their departure still boggles you sometimes.
K: Right. I'm a terrible person. Sometimes I wonder why I throw myself at people. Especially when I start liking someone...
H: Yeah. Why do you do that..
K: I.. *sigh* This is why people can't stand me, and they leave.


H: Well, okay. Honestly, it's not your fault. No one is perfect. You... you obviously have a lot of stuff that you can improve on. But it doesn't make you a bad person. Sometimes, it's just that some others are okay with you, like they know it's a part of you and they accept that its who you are. And there are some who just can't deal with you. But you and I know that you can never make everyone happy. It's a known fact. There will always be people who can look past all this stuff and love you. But sadly, for the small amount of people who do, there will be a big amount of those who won't. It doesn't make you or them a bad person, its just not meant to be..
H: I think one thing you can do is remember this.. if something comes, or like if someone comes into your life, let them. But it's also really important that you remind yourself not to beat yourself up when that same someone/something has to leave. When it's time to leave, let it. Maybe tug at it a little to gage their stance with you, but when its time, let it end.

Quick Update

The days leading up to my weekend has been eventful to say the least.

My heart sorta went into overdrive, emotionally at least.
And now, is slowly stepping off the roller coaster ride and doing deep exhale exercises.

But now that that's out of the way, it is time for work.

Much much awaited work.

Starting with this little link that I had vowed to update every week but seem to only do so when my mind is off duty from work/feels/meetings/sleep/errands.
Bloody excuses.

Yep, so here is something to let you guys know that I am excited about this project that I am currently working on. It is a script, a task that has been graciously presented to me over last few days, which I had painstakingly been chugging at mentally so far. Everything feels like it's been spread out in front of me in a beautiful mess, now all that's left of it is for me to pull everything together into a flawless piece of writing.

Of course, among other things, errands and my "day job" as I like to call it will still come into play.

Meanwhile I am also keeping tabs on my emotional wellbeing, ensuring that I am taking good care of my mental health, and also to really push myself towards better physical health.


I hope you guys are also taking vigil over your health, both mental and physical.
Talk, share, experience, vent.
Even if it's to a stranger on a dating app that you'll never ever see ever again.
Do it.
Before it's too late.

So Many Things I Wish I Could Tell 유

//The scariest bit about this entire thing was:

Not really knowing who to turn to 

I'm not sure if July is the month of break ups,

But I've bumped into video after video about break ups,

Articles on love and preserving them

Opinion pieces and suggestion columns 

About relationships, misunderstanding, and expectations

In the first week itself, 

I've learnt about the assumptions exes make

Read about the biggest killers that cause make heads bake

and how love can come in the form of a bologna sandwich. 

As I watch these, read these, consider these

I can't help but feel like I'm the worst to date.

//In the two weeks since our silence,

so many things have happened.

In the same time that all of these has been happening,

I had things that's got me counting my blessings.

For starters, the 3rd day from D-Day, 

I got my cousin who came to wipe the tears away.

She picked me up as I fell to the ground

Propped me up in anger paired with concern

Shed tears the way she shared her compassion

Like a waterfall, resilient, strong, yet calm

She embraced me and reminded me to carry on.

In the next few days, I got booked myself an audition

I went in despite knowing that I'd be nothing but a poor addition

Then I received an email 

It said that I'm a participant on a radio show

Little did I know that my demons would show their tails

As my performance level was nothing but low

Leaving me no choice but to be the first one to go.

Since the episode on at the radio company,

To be forgiving & understanding is something I've begun to see 

After being eliminated, I've once again evaluated my direction 

So much so, it's gotten me all fired up back into motion

//The amount of times I've been asked about marriage 

has only increased. But instead of feeling silently proud that I still have you,

I've come up with snarky angry responses to get the questions to stop, 

even if only for the day. 

It's a week before Seoul Pride.

I had this dream that involved the church protestors. 

I, along with the others were all at the bus station

I was prepping with Hayden and others to board the bus

Excited to be celebrating love, acceptance, and for being who we are

The protestors, clad in white, were waiting near us,

But surprisingly, so was I.

Since they were doing their own thing, 

my friends and I just let them be.

Then when the bus showed up, 

and we all boarded the bus, 

we weren't alone, as the protestors also boarded.

I had plonked myself down at the very front, 

as the protestors filed to the back.

In surprise, I asked Hayden "what's up with that?"

only to learn that this had been a tradition.

"They've always been riding with us in peace,

it started with only a few of them 

but it grew over the years" 

But even as Hayden was explaining to me,

One of the angry ahjumma protestors came up to me with a giant banner

telling me to write in to a religious magazine in protest.

Calmly, I let her finish what she had to say

then with a giant smile, legs spread wide,

I locked eyes with her and told her 

"you know I'm gay, right?" 

//Oh yeah,  생일 축하해.
I remembered it this year.

Here’s What’s Wrong with the Watsons Commercial

Now that we’re officially in the month of Ramadan, it’s no surprise that everyone is in ad & commercial full gear. To many Malaysians, you’d probably have seen this one that stuck out like a sore thumb among them all: The Watsons Malaysia’s Raya Ni Mesti Cun ad.

It’s about 11 minutes long, features a huge team of local celebrities from various backgrounds, (which, brownie points for trying) but to be quite honest, is tremendously disappointing to say the least.

Since hitting social media on June 7th, many have come out in anger and disappointment in that

SPOILER ALERT for those of you who still have not yet seen it..

It features a character in blackface, basically to reflect filth and dirt, who is then transformed, somehow magically into a “flawless woman” after going to Watsons.

Here is what I found to be tremendously problematic, in sequence:
(It's a pretty detailed one..but I hope you read it all to the end)

1.     At the very beginning, there was a narrator who had started the ad, the soft, gentle one that you usually hear on the radio. But that narration was abruptly interrupted by a voice, one that I personally found to be tremendously rude, and frankly annoying, who took over the narrative. While the take over was fine, it was the script that went into it that I found absolutely degrading. The new voice pointed out that the original narration was “boring sangat” and so this new voice was going to take over. We find out that the voice belongs to the King’s servant because

2.     The servant addresses the king by “orang kaya” and obeys all his orders albeit in a seemingly reckless, clumsy manner. Perhaps this was their way of adding a comical vibe to the ad, but a useless and demeaning one in my opinion. So, is this actually about a king, or a rich man?

3.     The King orders the servant to go on a search for a maiden/bride with a beautiful voice to bring a face to the voice in his dreams. Ah, yet another piece approving the objection of women to serve men, a patriarchic move. Bravo. At that point in time, I’m turned off, ready to leave the video, but the reason behind all the fuss, so I go on.

4.     The entire thing seems to be set in some depiction of… a desert/ some place that isn’t Malaysia. If this was based on a Malay folklore, then shouldn’t there be tropical forests, and mountain ranges like the ones we actually have here?

5.     The servant man wants to make an announcement but his trumpet guy can’t produce a grand enough sound to grab anyone’s attention. So he asks for his trumpet, gets a cuba, and mocks the size of the instrument, yet seems to play a decent short piece off it. But doesn’t even bother to explain what the instrument actually is. All of the above, tremendously insignificant, uninteresting, and uninformative, quite the contrary, in fact. Problematic to say the least. Especially when children in their formative years now heavily relies on social media as a form of out-of-classroom, watches something like this, obtains ill informed knowledge from ads like this. How can we expect them, as they grew up, to make informed and wise choices? Even if we can say that it’s just one ad, what difference does it make? Then I’d like to ask you to think about that one time someone close to you said something really hurtful. No matter how long ago that was, I’m sure it’ll surface. The same goes for kids and learning.

6.     Women covered up, showing only their eyes, except the two ladies who I’m guessing are the celebrities... (okay, I don’t really know local celebs very well) Let’s be real here for a minute. Even if you’re trying to place more focus on the two characters, there are much better ways of doing so than to throw others into headscarves covering them up like that. Unless they personally requested that they remained that way on shoot as they do off set. Come on now.

7.     Then came shots of women from all over the world who had heard about the news, preparing themselves for the big day. And the first part shows the change from a modest look to an emphasis on “assets”. Simply put, women are being objectified and looked at only for their bodies and their looks.

8.     Not to mention, the names of countries & locations in the world had been changed for fictional reasons, but all of them depict some rather stereotypical displays of the countries.

9.     With that said, one character in particular stood out as well. One of the characters was depicted to be living in the jungle, dark skinned, and bad teeth, seemingly evil, but after brushing her teeth, had sparkling pearly whites, which made absolutely no sense. She also seemed to have cleaned up really well for the competition day for she showed up in a well-put together outfit, and not to mention extra emphasis on her pearly whites.

10. Then the day of the competition arrived. All the female characters roll in one by one in their best. First to arrive is the princess of China, she looks gorgeous and glamorous, but her head piece hits the top of her podium as she’s exiting. Everyone else who came afterwards had no problems entering. If I could be so quick to assume… this was a mockery of the Chinese, perhaps? Are we playing race politics here? What’s going on?

11. Then comes the Eurasian princess who is supposed to be Rapunsel? Entering with her is also a prince, who not only seems out of place, but has to put up with the madness of the situation. I get it, they’re trying to display the fact that they understand diversity. But apparently it can only take place in the West. A poor attempt at portraying the fact that they care about diversity, especially not after they made only the “Chinese princess” bump her headpiece as another meek attempt at comedy.

12. Then comes the big moment: all the contestants compete. Obviously, they do appallingly. None of them can even carry a note. Seriously? There are people who can sing, and some who can do better. Why did they have to stoop to that level of making everyone become cringe worthy? Immensely degrading of people’s abilities, and completely unnecessary. Plus, the fact that these actors they hired to play the part, are paid a truck ton of money just to be in the commercial, is absolutely pointless.

13. On the same note, the Thai princess. It’s clearly a Thai costume, or again, some depiction of the Thai costume, but acted out by an Indian celebrity. Not only does the character butcher their traditional dance, but makes a serious mockery of it. We get your point, none of them make the cut, but again, all this was unnecessary. Also, there were lots of people on the project, I’m sure, but no one bothered to say something about how ignorant and disrespectful all of this is?

14. Then comes the false winner that was incorrectly announced as a result of “reading the results upside down”. Was this a poke at the Miss Universe pageant and the Oscars with the misread/ confused wins? How many puns had they planned out for this entirety? A low blow, really.

15. Followed by the speech by “Rapunsel”, speaking in poor BM, with an explanation that she’s mixed thus why she’s bad at BM. Another attempt at race politics? Interracial couples and children are roaming around this entire planet, feeling abused and disrespected from being bullied on the daily. But here, is being spotlighted for seemingly eternity. This is essentially saying that mocking interracial children, and even grown ups, is A-OK. Not cool man. NOT. Cool.

16. But then of course, we’ve come to the most highlighted scene of all. The beautiful voice who enters veiled. With the king being tremendously impressed by how beautiful her voice is, he assumes that she’s gorgeous too. A reflection of just how shallow people can be. So he requests for her to unveil herself to everyone. And then yep, you guessed it. BLACK.FACE. Literally, someone had spent hours in make-up, to turn this person black. All of this to reflect black = ugly = dirty. But it doesn’t end there.

17. Everyone is taken aback, shocked by how “dirty” this person is. Obviously. The king, especially, in his fear, asks “where is the lights?” What do you mean where is the lights? It’s kind of like the joke people make when taking a photo with a dark skinned person, insisting that you cannot see the person because of how dark their skin is. It’s insulting, and degrading of not just the person listening to it, but also to the person’s family, heritage, and background. Simply put: RUDE.

18. So, what is the solution for this poor girl? Go to Watson’s of course! In a jiffy after she returns, she no longer has dark skin, but also has a hair full of curly locks, and what seems a “sense of confidence” as she’s more outgoing, talking to the king and telling him that she is in fact “a flawless person”. Thanks to Watson’s. So basically, what this ad is saying, and it is THE sentiments of everyone who has seen it: if you’re dark, it means you’re dirty. Because you’re dirty, you need to clean up, and Watson’s will clean you up and turn you into a “flawless” person. In this sense, “flawless”ness is a few things. One, being “fair”, because yes, fair skin is the only skin that is beautiful. Two, long beautiful locks because you’re a woman. Three, a face full of make up, because natural beauty is just plain ugly. Oh dear. So according to Watson’s standards, anyone who has dark skin is just ugly, and have no confidence. Really, what exactly is the message are they trying to send here?

19. Just when you thought it was all over, sadly, it doesn’t stop there. Upon return from Watson’s, the king falls head over heels for her in an instant. He’s clearly smitten with her as she has the whole package, the voice in his dreams, and now the looks. So he tells her he loves her and proposes to her. Flattered, she accepts it and they “live happily ever after”. Wait sorry, what was the moral of the story again? Right, it’s that we are shallow. Everyone is shallow. Hooray. Wait, there’s more.

20. After their “happily ever after” Watsons song, the Thai queen desperately trying to get one of the other guards to marry her… This is a patriarchic stance on how women are dependent on men by being married to them, thus obtaining happiness. This desperate depiction places women as secondary to men. (I didn't notice this the first time I watched it , only when I had the conversation with someone else & saw it for the 2nd time that I saw it)

21. So in response to all the angry comments on the facebook ad, Watson’s has released an apology. Their apology states that one, the ad was based on “the legend of Dayang Senandong.. a Malay folklore about a lady who was born cursed with black skin but blessed with a beautiful voice. The legend depicts that the king fell in love with Dayang Senandong because of her voice and inner beauty. The curse was lifted after Dayang Senandong gave birth to the king’s child”. Again, another problematic statement as NOWHERE in this ad does it show that the “king in love…because of her voice and inner beauty”. None whatsoever. Also, according to a friend of mine who looked it up in the books of Malay folklore, Dayang Senandong does not exist. Maybe it did in a movie, which we can argue to be fictional as there is no proof of the existence of this very individual. Neither is it an excuse to be used as a reference for blatant racism (note the other racist bits mentioned above)

22. The statement then goes on to say “The video was shot to highlight the legend and its moral values of inner beauty and that true love exists”. I’m not sure about you, but I didn’t see anywhere in this video, true love, or moral values of inner beauty. I’m rather baffled by this particular sentence because correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t love, even more so TRUE love, the meaning of when a person wholly accepts the other for who they are? Both inside, and out? Also correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t inner beauty the definition of when a person stands proud for who they are as a person; their values, their stance, personality, character, and skills, regardless of how beautiful or how ugly others see them? In the video, it showed that “Dayang Senandong” needed a makeover the feel confident about herself. Because if she believed in inner beauty, then she would’ve marched, instead of slowly & carefully walked into the scene face first, not with her face covered. Don’t you think?

23. The apology statement ends by stating that the company takes all the feedback and comments of customers very seriously. The ad has since been pulled from social media and YouTube off their official pages. But if they really were sincere about taking the comments seriously, they would’ve issued a more sincere apology by owning up to what they had released. Instead, all we got was some half-assed-I’m-doing-this-because-I-have-to statement. Why? Because in the statement, it says that they “stand firm on the belief that unity and fairness plays an important role, and (they) respect people form all nationalities.” Well, if you did, you wouldn’t have shot the ad the way you did. If you did, you wouldn’t have approved of the script. AND if you did, you would not approve of how the entire video was edited. Safe to say, that Watson’s apology was definitely insincere through and through.

Look, I get it, we all make mistakes. The people making the ad, they’re human too. From time to time, even the best can slip up. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. As a person who has pissed off enough people in my lifetime to fully comprehend a lot more about life, I have had my share of mistakes, and trust you me, I still am making them. It has been through my own life journey of pissing other’s off that I’m learning to be more understanding, and more forgiving of the people who’ve wrong me. It is no easy journey. But one of the biggest downfalls that I believe we all have is the reluctance to own up to our own mistakes. Granted, the world is a really cold place when it comes to even accepting apologies. But when a person, no matter how bad they messed up, offers a sincere apology, it opens the room for conversation. This happens not only for those who are involved, but also to those who are mere observers of the situation. As people, we can tell by the content & tone of the apology whether it is a sincere one. When one is offered, opens up an avenue of dialogue to explain one’s opinions, and why or how what has happened is hurtful. It is important that we’re creating these dialogues, as it creates more mutual understanding, a more open space for progress and growth, not just as an individual but as a society.

Needless to say, I am severely disappointed in what Watson’s has done. The ad was one thing, but the insincere apology, and taking little responsibility for the mistake they’ve made, truly upsets not just me, but I believe many others who have both seen the video, and read the statement by Watson’s. It saddens me to say this, because many times, the service at Watson’s has been above satisfactory. But this was truly uncalled for. So until Watson’s releases a sincere apology (even better if they release a renewed ad that is all-inclusive, with zero (yes, not even subtle racism please!), I have to say that I will be boycotting Watson’s. I really hope that the people at Watson’s wake up and do something about this mess.

Excuse Me While I Work Things Out

Three or four weeks?
Has it been?

I have been running from city to city, country to country, packing, unpacking, struggling, challenging.
I've been smiling, crying, laughing, and tearing
After being showered with a fair amount of love, hatred, hugs, and angry slurs,
Finally, I am home once again.

After drafts and drafts of stuff that are sitting in my Microsoft Word,
I've decided that none of it is worthy of the cut.
I'm sorry.

So I'm typing this, I'm propped against the mountain
A mixture of clothes, memorabilia, books, and CDs
I found myself a quote that is helping me get through this really mentally & emotionally confusing transitional period.

"Strength is happiness. Strength is itself victory.
In weakness and cowardice there is no happiness.
When you wage a struggle, you might win or you might lose.
But regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact that you're continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being"

Excuse the absence, I will do my best to keep up the weekly posts.
For those of you who are also in some transitional period, know that there are a ton of people who are also in the same predicament. So keep going, and do what you can. But more importantly, enjoy the moments, no matter how sour, sweet, both, or anything in between.

Menstrual Cups & I

This topic concerns not only those who bleed through their vaginas every month (women), but also those whose lives involve those individuals who do (men). Basically, this is an important talk that involves everyone, even if you think it's unrelated to you.

So read on:

Pads.

They seem to be everywhere.

They’re stuck in toilets, on the little corner of the bathroom cubicle, on the beach waiting unsuspecting beach-goers.. People can’t seem to get rid of them fast enough.

Yet they still continue to bombard us at the mall, on the tele, and on a giant pyramid at the supermarket.

Nowadays, there are so many varieties to choose from:

Perfume pads, herbal pads, organic cotton pads, astronaut suit material pads..

Companies are becoming more and more creative in how they can market their products.

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Heck, before leaving Korea, I watched as people pack bag after bag of the herbal pads (if I’m not mistaken) that seem to have caught the attention of many in Asia.

Tampons.
Invented by a man, comes in paper, or plastic holders, under another protective layer of plastic,
to be stuffed up your baby making machine, with claims of being useful for those who enjoy yoga, swimming, and "freedom". When really, those who use tampons have to be wary of the fact that they have to change their tampon every 4 hours.

But what they, or any company that has a marketing ploy to maximize profits does not tell is the harm that these commercialized products bring. Articles upon articles have flooded social media and the interwebs about the dangers of sanitary napkins; toxic shock syndrome, infections, harmful toxins that seep into the sea & soil to name a few. Google it.




Being aware of my body's reactions to tampons and overcome by my frustrations from the environmental impacts these sanitary products had, the universe had impeccable timing...

Thus about two years ago, I began my journey on Kickstarter after having observed lots of people around me buy some pretty cool stuff. One thing that caught my attention was the Lily Cup Compact. The company was creating a Kickstarter campaign at the time to release their foldable menstrual cup, as a means of helping women who are constantly on the go to reduce bulk in their bags. Taken by the entire thing, I decided to do more research into the products that was on the market. I started off with looking up videos about menstrual cups, how to use them, and people's thought on it. I mostly watched YouTube videos to get insight to understanding this alternative to pads and tampons.

Up until the time I began using my menstrual cup, I had been using sanitary pads that I felt left the least residue. I generally frayed away from using tampons as I found that my body had been rejecting them each time I did use them (my body felt tremendously uncomfortable - not because I didn't stick them in correctly from the idea of knowing that there were so much chemicals involved in the manufacturing of tampons). Thus it was a no brainer for me to make the switch to menstrual cups. It was not a small sum of investment but I will say that it was most definitely worth every single penny (cuz I purchased it in USD. HA!)

menstrual cups

drawn on a plane with no reference 

& NOT to scale

My first investment was the Lily Cup Compact, and the original Lily Cup. I won't lie, the first few times using it was rather tricky but now, almost two years in, I have to say that I've definitely gotten the hang of it. While my selection of menstrual cups has been limited to one (really, you only need one for at least the next 10 years), I will say that I know a handful of people around me who can vouch for the Diva Cup.

So what is the damn hype about?
Well the menstrual cup has a variety of benefits:

1. It is inserted into the vagina and holds up to 12 hours of menstruation
2. Unlike tampons and pads, the menstrual cup does not to be replaced every 4 hours
3. Because this product can be reused, it significantly reduces waste that occurs from the usage of commercial sanitary pads & tampons
4. It is washable & free of toxins & harmful chemicals that cause Toxic Shock Syndrome/chemical leakages into the soil, seas, and water supply
5. It is made of high grade silicone, neither plastic nor other materials that can be potentially harmful to the body or the environment

As a satisfied customer of the menstrual cup (it fulfilled the many requirements I had for menstrual products), I would like to start a mini campaign for the women in Malaysia & Korea who are reading this:
I am currently in the country where the aforementioned menstrual cups are sold. I am offering to buy up to a total of 10 menstrual cups of your choice (one per person) that fits the above requirements and will be more than happy to bring them to you at no extra cost.
As an advocate of the use of a safer, cleaner, and more environmental friendly menstrual product, it would be my honor and pleasure to bring these products to those who are also looking for an easier & environmentally conscious alternative to plastic & toxic waste.

Based on my very rough calculations, a woman in Malaysia spends on average RM120-RM150 (the cheapest) a year on sanitary pads plus a ton of headaches and worries of staining their clothes and bedsheets.

What if I told you you only have to spend that amount for a total of 10 years?
A fantastic trade off if you ask me.

So if you're finding ways to have more money in the future for that dream travel, or to save up for that car you've been planning for, I'd be more than happy to help. As my luggage space is limited, I can only offer to bring back 10 of these badasses. So if you're interested, drop me a PM on Instagram @kimberleyknhe and we can work something out ;)

Accepting Compliments & Saying Thank You

Accepting compliments with a simple thank you seems to be a pretty difficult thing to do for many.

In my experience, culture has been a big influence on why I would refuse compliments. Perhaps many can relate when I say that we've been taught to deny compliments as a reflection of humility. 

And while having been surrounded by people who not only encouraged me take the compliment, I've had the great many fortune to understand how and why people say thank you for the compliments they have received. 

For starters, there is no shame in claiming a compliment. 

Even if you may not think that it fits you. 

Unless you've been mistaken for another person, then it's another story.  

But. Here's how I see it..

When someone compliments me on a certain thing I do I take pride in the progress I’ve made to obtain that certain skill that they are complimenting me for.

When someone compliments us, they’ve become aware that something we do is praise worthy. They’ve unconsciously acknowledged the process in which it took for the opposite party to obtain the skill/ability; thus resulting in the compliment.

Take for example my English. I had picked it up naturally by interacting with my parents and the characters of Sesame Street through my computer screen.

It’s not any said conscious effort on my part, but my parents had religiously placed in in front of the TV when those shows were playing. So when I graciously accept the compliment with my “thank you”, I am honoring the work they’ve put in to help me learn English.

One could deject and say that this doesn’t apply to having good looks and stuff, so we have to be humble about it. Well, technically, it is applicable. The beauty industry profits off of the idea that we can all look gorgeous; feeding into the fact that something as minute as a single pimple can throw off a person’s day. We spend no small sum in “putting on our faces”, be it in make up, or beauty regime, to having a balanced diet, exercise, or combination of things. 

Whether or not we are aware or acknowledge our efforts, someone has. 

So my question is: why do we deject the positivity that others shed on us? 

It matters not whether the compliment had been sincere. If it be insincere, even better. Because by accepting the compliment, we're indirectly expressing ourselves, we're acknowledging our own thoughts, effort, and abilities. 

By accepting the compliment, and giving thanks, we're doing a few things:

1. We're honoring all our efforts, no matter how small.
2. We're honoring the people behind our actions, those who have entrusted faith, and effort in us 
3. We're reminding ourselves that we have been, and are able individuals, capable of achieving just about anything we wish to accomplish
4. In return, we're continuing our very own legacy, even if it may not mean anything to some (cuz let's be real, there WILL be haters no matter what we do) 
5. Even if it does not take effect immediately, we are encouraging the complimenter to continue their own fight, and to continue the good work of bringing positivity to others by recognizing their opinions about us

There are many people I know that feel it important to be humble be refusing a compliment. While I do understand that stance, I strongly believe that it is by accepting the compliment that we continue to grow, to learn, and to constantly improve ourselves. 

We accept the compliment as a little reward for accomplishing a level of success. Moving on, there is more that the world has to offer for us to grab; time to go! 

Note:

There is a difference in accepting the compliment & being cocky about it. Constantly harping on the compliment does more harm than good in the long run. This, because cockiness only leaves us in a space of complacency & comfort. 

Again...

We accept the compliment as a little reward for accomplishing a level of success. Moving on, there is more that the world has to offer for us to grab; time to go! 

So take the compliment, say your thanks (with sincerity), and I promise you, the world will slowly start to feel a lot lighter & brighter. 

Understanding Public Space (My Take on "Smoking Areas")

For those of you who don't really know me, I have an avid love for sitting in open spaces.
Despite the heat, I much prefer outdoor seating. Unless it is unbearable, I will usually avoid air conditioned rooms and opt for the more eco-friendly options.

This stems from a variety of reasons:

Uno:
I don't like having to freeze my fingers in Malaysian weather. It don't make sense when it should be a no brainer that being in Malaysia entails the tropical weather that does not involve turning my fingers to icicles. No Elsas required here.

Dos:
I like the fresh air. When breezes come by, I'm appreciative. If it rains, even better. Out in the open sans recycled air, I can't help but feel more responsible to take care of the planet.

Tres:
I like to people watch. By sitting outside, I get to take in my surroundings, be it the calm hustle of the vehicles, the interaction of people that could inspire my next neuro connection, or just to zone out in daydream, watching static drives me mad.

Quatro:
No sound reverberation. Therefore, no catching unwanted attention from conversations I'm having with whoever is with me.

But unfortunately for me, I find myself in a unpleasant place when I become the recipient of second hand smoke. Despite having picked up smoking for a very short-lived time span, I always saw to it that I would keep my smoke away from others. And in the occasions that I wanted to smoke, I'd look around (and even up when I am in close vicinity to higher buildings with open windows) to stand in a way that will not affect unsuspecting second hand smoker victims.

My smoking days are long gone, but since, I've become even more sensitive to cigarette smoke. This fact comes as rather surprising taking into account that one of my favorite places to go when in Korea was a nightclub, where everyone was like a waking chimney, spewing clouds of evaporated ash in my face and into my lungs. Funnier, is the fact that I ended up gaining employment at said club.

Working there was pretty cool. I must say the experience has been invaluable to me to say the least, but walking home at wee hours in the morning in a thick coat of smoke is one thing. Despite the delectable smelling shampoo conditioner combo, my hair post shower still smells strongly of smoke is another. 

So it goes without saying that I am not a fan of second hand smoke. Beyond that, is when I take a seat on an outdoor setting, only to see waves of humans coming next to me and exhaling second hand smoke. It's not the smoking I have a problem with. It is the direction in which the exhaled smoke goes.. in the general direction of my face.

In many occasions when I am vocal about it with my friends who are sitting outside with me, they tell me something around the lines of..

Kim, the outside IS smoking area. 

While yes, lots of people do go outside to enjoy a smoke because most people prefer sitting on the inside where the air-conditioning in the heat, there is a small but present handful of people that ARE outside enjoying the non air-conditioned indoors.

Being on the outside, be it on a beautiful veranda of a cafe, or at a high table at the entrance facing the main road, outside space is meant to be shared. Whether or not you're smoking, it's a public space to be used by all. I like to equate getting undesired second hand smoke in my face (as a result of choosing outdoor seating) with a stranger asking your personal questions in your face out of no where. Take for example, you're outside, waiting for a friend to arrive, or having a really intimate moment of listening to your friend pour their upset heart out, when suddenly, a random person comes up to your ears, and starts asking your personal questions. Granted, smoke not as intense. However, to those who do not smoke for various, valid reasons, but being given an unrequested and unwelcome gesture can get under one's skin. Especially when it keeps happening in various places in one day.

I believe that we're all aware of the dangers of smoking, and those who still do so have their reasoning. Thus, I do not condemn those who do. (Though frankly, I do wish that they re-evaluate their choice. As the health effects of smoking will in turn bring a lot of pain to those they love, I do hope that they'll re-evaluate the worth of smoking.) However, I think it's important that those who do are considerate of the people who also want to enjoy the open without the scent of recycled cigarette smoke.