Rainbow Candles and The Jalur Gemilang

So, I know its midnight and all that. But whatever.

Technically, still can la.

Today is the birthday of Malaysia, the place of scrumptious Durian, orgasmic Teh Tarik and breath taking flora and fauna.

53 Years and Counting.

Don't you think it's time we put aside all this bullshit and become a family? 

Anyway. Humans on the other hand had also celebrated the day they were born. 

For example, 

Kiyoshi Akasu aka Red, who is like a lightning bolt on the track...

Devin Wong, the Devil on Ice. Dude has MASSIVE skills!!

Miss Krystal Ong. :)

And today, 20 years ago, in a different continent, on the first day of Spring, I was born. :)

I grew up as a wonderous adventurous child, ever so curious and chubby -.-

I lived live making tonnes of mistakes and throwing lots of tantrums.

Learning and growing... Bringing me to today, the person that I am.

Bits and Pieces

So, I realized that my posts have been rather dull. Specially without any photos or anything like that...

Thus, I decided to put up some of my pictures from the album that was taken in Universal Studios Singapore :)

Pictures courtesy of Sabrina :)

The entrance. :)
I look like I'm holding onto the rail. It's actually a coincidence. :) 

Breakfast. I look funny. 

Tickets! :)

Shrek's house. :)
I jumped when I heard "Shrek farting" and telling us to "come back later"

SUPER tall scary dude in "Egypt"

Old car. :) 

Marilyn Monroe thing. :) 

Haha. So, these are the few photos from the bunch. The rest actually consists of my adventures with my cousins. And well, a lot of my photos are well, non existent. (uh oh) 

心跳 ♥

So, I am busy with driving around and playing tour guide.

I will have another short short short MIA again.

My apologies.

* i like how your oblivion is making me smile *

4 In The Morning

It is 5am in the morning and I am sitting before my computer screen, typing up a post on what has happened since my MIA.

Alright so, I didn't get into the Top 3 for the Clinique Star Search thing.

But I wanna thank you guys for voting for me and letting me be in the Top 25. :) So very much! Thank you!

And then, I went to the city of the Merlion, Singapore. 

How would I describe the trip? 

Well, refreshing.

Yes, I got some of the much needed R&R. But the emotional and mental aspect of it that I was exposed to, sure as hell shook me in a way I never really thought possible. It drained me both mentally and emotionally but I think that has shown me just how much I can take and just how well I handle it. 

And Maiko and Sho are staying over. I've been bringing them places. I must say, I've been going to places I've not been to in a long time and I forgot just how special these places are. Today, I was also supposed to go for a commercial shoot but after I got up, I felt super uncomfortable, physically. Thus explains the sitting in front of the computer. I am feeling super uncomfortable and it's making falling back asleep the hardest thing to do right now.

I do sincerely apologize for this very lousy post. I know I can do better. Hopefully the next one will be a wonderful one.

* i like how you're my new comfort zone. too bad for me, you just don't know about it *

Thank You Thank You Thank You!

MUCHAS GRACIASSSSS!!


谢谢你们！


ありがとう　ございます！！


THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUU!


TERIMA KASIHHH!

It means so much to me. All your votes. EVERY SINGLE ONE of them! It landed me the Top 25 spot and I am so happy. And even if I don't get it, I want you guys to know that I still REALLY appreciate it!!

Really, I do.

So, thank you. VERY VERY MUCH!

http://cliniquestartour.com.my/guess.aspx

Under The Blankets.

So this was the post I lost. :(



Today was my last class in Malaysia.
I will be heading to Lion City REAL soon.

But to be honest, I am NOT excited to go.

Not as THRILLED as I was a month ago. Hmm. I honestly have no idea why.

Anyway, things have made a 180 since me return to the Hibiscus Nation.

First of all, I have restored my SANITY. OMG the love of God.
Secondly, I am happier.
Thirdly, I am not the same person you know.
Fourth, I have made some decisions and are still contemplating on some.

Hmm.

Sorry guys if this is such a bore. As compared to anything else.

Okay okay. So.
Last night, I visited my childhood neighborhood.
The place I lived about 13 years of my life. The place I've not visited since, hmm, 5 years ago. When I moved out. And me and Adrian just sat at the playground and talked about things. About me and my shit.
(I am lazy to go into detail)

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I will be (maybe) on MIA for a bit. :)

Till then. See you ;)

Why Thank the Heavens?

I HAD SO MUCH WRITTEN DOWN!
AND WHEN I WANTED TO CLICK ON THE FB TAB, EVERYTHING WENT KABOOM GONE!

OMG. 

WHY.

This shall now be replaced with a rant about friggin stupid things you never knew about the computer.

You know how you press some weird button by accident and something cool/useful appears (at the wrong time! when you're the busiest) and then when you need it for some other reason (when you're FREE) it is just not there!?

ihateit when that happens.

WHY! Every time. JUST EVERY TIME!

And how you accidentally click on something and EVERY GODDAMN THING BLANKS OUT OR FRIGGIN ABRACADABRA'S YOUR ASS! 

urgh.

Sigh, I think I can really go on and on and on.

I apologize. Everything I typed earlier is just GONE.

GONEEEE :(

And worse in the other blog.

It's not even funny.

Share the Love, Share the Water

So my birthday is coming.
And I decided that it is time I contributed to something instead of mom doing if for me with World Vision.
And Zoe sent this link to me, telling me about the clean water thing.
So, I decided to start a campaign of raising $300 for clean water.
It sounds very little right? Yes, I know. But I wanna start small, not too ambitious.

Let's share the advantage of clean water with those who don't have the priviledge.
Go to...
http://mycharitywater.org/kimberleyknhe
to donate. :)
Every penny, dime and dollar counts. :)

Ashes To Ashes

So after 4 days of hosting the funeral and staring into the glass hoping she would wake up, we cremated her body yesterday (technically the day before). It was one of the most painful things to see.

After my previous post about her, we held the prayers for her for the 3 nights. As we chanted, all I could think of was all her little actions and movements. Every little one that I absolutely treasure.
How she would nod and smile every time I see her and call her. How she would pat me on the back and rub my back with all her grandmotherly love and all the strength she can muster when we're all squeezed at the back of the car when we bring her and Grandpa to breakfast on a Sunday morning. And how when we get there, all I wanna do is get her up those stairs in her wheelchair and give her a little fun while at it. And asking her repeatedly if she's full after getting back (which was taken from a movie and is seen more of a joke) home and knowing what I was talking about, she would smile and laugh.
I also remember the times when she would wave her right hand and say "eyh, lai lai" (hey, come here) and how she would ask me something in Hokkien and I would not be able to hear her as she never had her teeth on. And thinking of her smile and jokes despite being hospital bound, made me break down halfway through chanting. 
Knowing that I would no longer be able to touch her and hold her hand or give her fragile little body a hug broke my heart. Not to mention the soft cries from my Grandpa in the next bathroom was enough to break my heart. Listening to mom's eulogy did not help either. It made the tears flow faster than the strongest of rivers. And after listening to both her and my 1st aunt's eulogies, I got to know more about the woman who made mom and I the people we are today. A little like Grandma.
So when they put her coffin into the cremation chamber, and when the daughters began to wail and cry for her, I could no longer hold it in and had began to cry even further. Grandpa who got to the place earlier than us was standing beside the coffin while people were putting flowers onto the coffin, crying and would not leave until my uncles and aunt convinced him to.
After that, we headed back to her place and they all started reminiscing about the past (mom, uncles and aunts past) and is brought Grandma back in spirit. A yellow butterfly that flew in to watch her children gather together to talk about it. Just like she would've done in her wheelchair, quietly and would nod when I asked her if it were true. 

Grandma, I miss you. I REALLY do. I really really really really love you. With all my heart.

Love, Kimberley

CAST YOUR VOTES

Hey everyone.

I know this is so weird what with it being my Grandma's funeral and what not.
But I'm asking her for her help and spiritually I know she's there, helping me.

So as you know, I joined the Clinique Star Tour and I used

THIS photo.

So if you guys like it, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CAST YOUR VOTES at

http://cliniquestartour.com.my/voting.aspx?places=Pavilion,+Kuala+Lumpur&selectedindex=1&selectedCount=0&selectedParticipant=+0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0

If you have more than one email address, I would REALLY appreciate it if you can vote for me more than once.

R.I.P Grandma.

 I apologize for the absence. 

I have good reason.

I had been busy picking out stuff for my rainbow cake that was kinda successful. (I never really got to taste it) 

Why wasn't I able to taste it? Well, it is because as I was pouring in the dough I found out, after much frantic received calls and after making some calls, I fount out that my grandmother was in critical condition and about 10 minutes later, I was told that I had to pack as she had passed on. Thus we drove back and was welcomed with a coffin in the porch. 

My grandmother was a strong woman who lived till she was 90. She had been talking about dying for the longest time. And she had been been in and out of the hospital a few times. Even once when I was in the US and had even joked about dying. 

As cliche as it sounds, I had never really seen this day coming. It caught me by shock but then again, I am feeling just alright about it. I have not yet shed tears because I am holding them all in to be strong for her. 

Like I said, she was a strong woman, I think as her granddaughter I should do the same for her.

I love you Grandma. Always have, always will.

Expect this to be my last post for now.

Stop Stating The Obvious

I realize that people are getting more and more obvious.

And it boils my blood.

And when I say obvious, I mean with everything from ideas and opinions to actions and expressions.

*inserts quote*

URGH. freakin. That place and them freakin expectations of things. They see to it too.

"Ohh, this, ooh that. Wouldn't it be cooler if...?"

COOL! You wanna talk about cool, give other things and ways a chance will you?! URGH.

So the freakin answer is:

NO. Now go and fuck yourself.

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Sorry, felt the need to rant after being in a room of insane formality all day. And being annoyed as I already am, it just isn't helping.

I apologize for the random angry blog post. I'll talk about something better soon. Promise.

Just The Way We Are

Today (technically yesterday)

was a very touching day.

I went to breakfast with the dad alone and I had to hold back my tears when he looked at me with that fatherly look in his eyes and when he said "Hey Kim, is there something you wanna tell me?"

And when I gave him a brief idea of what's going on, his reply brought tears to my eyes and I had to fight them. REALLY BADLY.

And this made me remember Dila's wall post on Facebook:

 "if you have a mother that asks you “how was your day?” every day, don’t think that she’s being nosy because not everyone gets to answer the question because they were never asked."

and thinking about it, I am actually really glad that I have my family members just the way they are. They're not perfect, they have their faults but I love themmm :) SO much. :)

I'm really gonna miss them when I go back.

I studied with mu brother today and am very impressed with his progress in his studies.

I have breakfast with my parents, I go to suppers with mom and drove dad around :) 

I really enjoy my time with them. :) Even though they can be such pain in the asses sometimes. :) 

Misconceptions

Ever had a crush?

When you're still eying the person and this is all you can think about...

Until life Abracadabra!'d and suddenly

Then it becomes

Until....

...the magic has faded

And all you're left with is

and all that you can wish for and the one and only thing you want to say but can't say is...

Then this,

has a WHOLE new meaning....

but this, you hold true to yourself.

till the cycle is repeated once again.

My take on failed relationships. Whadyou think?

Blades and Ice Over Booze and Smoke.

Going skating on Friday made me feel alive once again.

Even though I've lost a lot of my elements, skating the other day just made me wanna wear a low back costume, get my hair and make up done for a program that lasts 2 minutes. With all eyes on me.

Something like this...

I really miss my skating days.

Time to make new ones. ;) 

Keeping the Sanity in Check

So after disappearing for so long, I have finally decided to sit my ass down to talk about the things that have been keeping me rather busy :)

This is very special because just so you guys know, these are the people who keep me alive. Who make me feel like me again.
These are the people who do not force me to fake a smile just cause everyone HAS to be ALWAYS happy. They are the ones who keep my sanity, yes sanity, in check.

Okay so, I've been meeting up with some of my friends. :)

Like Caitlin, before she left for Aussie. :) So nice having been able to catch up

The Japanese and the Indian women

My Jakun Friends :) (clearly)

and preparing for the Mom's Birthday Party.

The INSANITY :) (ironcially, they're the ones who rid my insanity)

All the prep work for the performance that was a surprise for the mama and the work we put into making these babiess

And then, after that week, I was busying myself with my studies and everything else in between. Here are some doodles from my 5 minute breaks.

On Tuesday, I met up with some of my Saujana classmates (photo up soon)

and it was so much fun just sitting there and listening to their crap. :) It's funny to know just how we've "grown". :) Physically and mentally. :) (some not in such a good way, physically)

And GUESS WHOSE BACKKK :)

Mister ADRIAN WONG 

( I apologize for not having a photo, lots of my stuff disappeared whilst being transferred to an external hard disk. :(

We met up (Zhi Sung and I) with Adrian, drove to their best friends place and headed to McDs and caught up on some stuff :) 

Then today, I went to the rink for the first time since I got back with Faris and was able to see these two monyets (who I have not seen in TOO LONG! Specially the small one. ;)    )

We had wonderful food for dins and went baby shopping (wow, sounds wrong, I mean shopping for babies)! ;)

No, I am NOT pregnant people. CHILLING :) 

Next stop, some Yusur-Aliah-Nawwar-Kim time :)

Yusur is moving for good. :( Breaks my heart a little but that don't mean anything cause I know that we are just like the women in Sex and the City :) 

Ray sent me this. :) It's a really meaningful song. :) 

Er, did I mention that I had my hair dyed? Well, it doesn't look like it cause I didn't get it bleached this time but hopefully, before I leave for the States, I will get it fixed. :) So about 3 weeks from now :) Redye :)

Get ready ;)

Love of My Life

So today is a very special day. :)

It is another cousin's birthday! :) (hey, what dyou know)

She turned 18 and is feisty and sexy and mega awesome :)

She's a wonderful sister, daughter, girlfriend and cousin :)

We fought together

Ate together (haha, smexhy)

Took weird photos together 

and did a lot and have been through a lot together.

She is like a sister to me and watching her evolve into such a beauty is truly wonderful. :) [hey, she was alot ALOT boyish back then]

I absolutely love her with all my heart and I can't wait to still be chillin with her in 20 years time! :) 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADIAAA :)

I love love love LOVE you!! :) 

I give you hug! :) RAWR :) 

Birthday Song

So today is a day of MANY MANY MANY birthdays

They consist of....

My Aunty, Miss Cherish Lee

Mister Loo Tung Herr, who I've not seen in a long long time.

ANGELA LEONG :) Whose dad is Malaysian Chinese (heyyyyy)

Miss Monica of Taiwan who I always confuse for another person.

Mister Cool Brazil, Leo Saito 

and

Mister Andy Tran

(Alright, so technically, that was yesterday since like, it is quarter past midnight.)

But wow, that sure is a lot of people with the same birthday! :) I just realized that. Hmm

And today is my DEAR DEAR DEAR Cousin John Wong

Oh dear. *GASP* 

(Mom used to give me his old textbooks. Poor Kimmeh!)

's birthday. But he is in Boston and had refused to return Malaysia (apparently!)

Okay okay that photo was kinda mean :) Here's a hotter one ;) 

to make up for not being able to see you when I was in Boston :)

Speaking of which, I was drilled by his brother James, his mom and MY mom for not meeting up with him when I was in Boston. :( 

But all in all, I love you la. :) You're still my cousin no matter what! :) And I wanted to meet you kay!!

So yes, this post has been dedicated to the early August babies! :)

I will elaborate more on my week. And my Xanga is down so I will update there as soon as I can. But meanwhile! :) I hope you enjoyed this sweet, simple post. :)

* i'm getting over you. or am i? *