Quarter Life Goodbye

As I sit at home with my laptop and dance practice song in attempt to remember the newly learnt dance steps, I'm also gathering the bits and pieces of 2015 and putting them into the separate bins of keepsake and once overs.

2015 was a year of wow, cha(lle)nges. I see how that looks weird, allow me to rephrase:

2015 was a year of wow, challenges and change.

January: I was finally packing up to make the move to Korea to learn the language in wish of landing myself in the entertainment industry.  And well, I fulfilled that.

February: A turning point of finding myself in an emotional whirl with news of a person who apparently wasn't prepared for a relationship but had ended up getting together with a familiar face. Took a scary tummy sink and self prep-talk to stop crying over spilt milk and to actually start focusing on myself and how I can be a better person as a whole.

March: I landed myself an internship/part time job that got me involved with radio which I really enjoy despite some hiccups. Then met some really cool dudes that owned a café near me who were very welcoming

April: I learnt that despite being placed into Level 1, that it wasn't really that elementary of a class. I also got to see first hand that insecure girlfriends from Korean dramas actually exist.

May: I got to see beautiful SUA babies spread their wings and join the transition club into "the real world" and got to meet some really inspiring alumni who have been making huge strides in their lives and communities

June: I decided that having cockroaches and other insects as my roommates were not really gonna gel with me. It was also the time that I highly objected to a lot of things that had changed someone close to me. I started missing the States and the conversations I had + thought about how much of a meanie I was to some people.

July: A good friend & fellow alumna visited! I attended PRIDE, and became a one event star (the photos are stunning) I wore rainbow and was stunned by the amount of anger shown by the religious group here that all I could do was throw signs of love back at them. But very quickly I started feeling kind of alone and frustrated, I was not quite sure about how to control my thoughts or anger. It was also very hot and humid, and having to go real estate hopping seeing stuff WAY over budget was beginning to get on my nerves. And going to school with a prick was making me a passive aggressive judgmental bitch who would voice out her opinions in front of the person but could not say it to the person's face. I finally found a new place thanks to my friend who agreed to brave the heat with me.

August: I missed home a lot. And so sought comfort back home through my friends and got pretty close to one who is now my biggest confidant & supporter apart from my family. I also started admiring my dance teacher, and was building mad respect for both my Level 2 teachers who are just such amazing individuals. Real examples of inspiring women. Then I met the youngest teacher who is seriously no rookie and who blew my socks off with her teaching skills. A month of teachers man. (tearing up a little to all the beautiful individuals) Maybe it was also the fact that I had already been one (for a couple months) myself too?

September: At quarter of a century old, I learnt that ALL parents have already had pedestals for their children, no matter how shitty they are (even if their children are 6'6'' tall assholes) and teachers in general have to build a really thick skin. Respect respect, RESPECT. I've also officially moved into my new place and flew back home for a couple of days for a wedding & also to Japan to have a much much much needed reunion with my classmates. This was also the month I spent A LOT but worth every single penny/yen/won/Ringgit.

October: Home came to me and so did the cold. In the previous months I got so lonely and I must say, lost that having my dear confidant come to Korea and stay for such a long time was a paradox. It was absolutely comforting but it was also a slap in the face of how rude I am as a person sometimes. And that also became another turning point for me. I'm sorry.

November: I took part in a video contest in school and the footage was amazing (ALSO THANKS TO MY CONFIDANT you know who you are) and did not like messaging people for the sake of getting likes, comments and shares. I did not like it one bit. Neither did I like the fact that they allowed another contestant in way after the application due date. Still not sure what was up with that, but I don't think that was fair for anyone (not just me) and it was also the month that I was the poorest because I had to pay for the outstanding school fees (there was an increase) and my laptop charger had been replaced by a newer, expensive version (the original is free with the laptop purchase). Did I also mention that my student became too busy for my classes and had basically no more extra income?

December: I welcomed the last month with an addition to my bank account after winning the video contest. But that had replaced the extra school fees and the laptop charger which that was great but I also started becoming more sensitive to my surroundings as I was more aware of what I wanted in terms of characteristics (in myself). I also started Level 4 which now has become a challenge of applying all I've learnt so far in doing presentations and expressing my thoughts (like a local). And it felt like eternity but I now have another student who is wonderful, adorable and learns fast! (She's also 6 and is excited for my classes to which I am so grateful and it gets me going) I'm also reunited with my fellow SUA alumni tonight ready glide through the night, the way I cannot do any other day.

I also made a quote that I'm super proud of and shall now be my way of approaching quite a lot of things....

At the radio station we recorded our last show for 2015 and while I do not believe in New Year's Resolution, I do want to make one that I would like to carry on into the many many years to come, but
1. To learn how to get my point across without sounding like an old lady.
2. To make many more mistakes so that I can laugh at myself more with everyone regardless
3. To push through my initial intimidation when it comes to meeting someone/ talking to others
4. To continue being straightforward, no matter how awkward/painfully scary it is but to admit my wrongs when I am corrected.

I also watched the movie About Time sans distraction and that got me thinking lately.

But yes, moving on, I'd love to constantly working on those things. It won't take 1 year for a complete turnover but progress even a little is a good thing. And I strongly believe that life is a never ending practice field. We should never stop learning, practicing, and growing.

Oh and about that quote:

"Kids are adults in small bodies, and adults are kids... in BIG bodies" 





Adios 2015. Gracias por todo.
Gracias a los putos también por las problemas que me dieron. Pero adios y jodete.

Mini Stepped Tuesday

It's been a while since I wrote something and for good reason...

I've recently been feeling pretty stuck in my ways of writing and felt that the stuff I was putting out was not quite good for a while and so I've decided to take a sabbatical (HAHA) and go explore different writings and work my way to writing better.

But I've also been pretty swamped with school, work, and everything else that I find the extra hour of sleep in the morning to be pretty great. So do forgive me while I post sporadically over the span of the near future.. (:

Like today, with something great happening and I just had to tell the world about it.
Yesterday at work, I was asked about my New Year's Resolution. Though for the most part, I don't really believe in it because like a can of soda I kinda fizz out after giving myself too much time. So I am more on the side of making little goals to reach whatever it is I'm aiming at. And so I mentioned that I'm planning on going Zero Waste. If you look it up, you'll see some really interesting people on the interweb who usually advocate quite literally what the title is. Zero plastic, and waste to the point where they've been able to collect the trash they use over the span of whoever long they've been Zero Waste.

For me, I've a long way to go but I've already started by using alternatives to products that require tossing or even recycling for that matter. For examples, I urge you to go to your fridge or kitchen cupboards and see what's wrapped in material that need to either be recycled or thrown out..
I've also taken more steps to reducing my carbon foot print by switching out some of my products like sanitary pads/tampons with a menstrual cup, which is made of silicone and only need to be replaced every 10 years (a really great investment and also saving the planet).

Moving on, today was no exception. I knew I was going to buy my breakfast as I've not done grocery shopping as I'm also looking up alternatives to big corporations (instead via other sources that tie directly with farmers) again I regress. So I prepared my Tupperware for my bagel and cream cheese (there's an extra small container for the Tupperware just for that) and to my surprise the owner (who takes orders) told me that he was impressed by it and explained to me that the cost for things we take for granted (like plastic bags and paper wraps) are actually really expensive and he really liked the idea of me bringing in my own as it doesn't create any trash. Glad was he I got an extra stamp and am now 1 stamp away from my free bagel. Joyous!'

also brought my own coffee in my reused glass bottle!

I was really proud of myself and in I think my bagel tasted extra yummy today (not sure if it's cause I got the Onion bagel... Ooh, and my cream cheese has now been saved for when I have bread! Score!

Monday: Mother Nature I

Lately, I've become more environmentally aware and have been seeking out ways to be more friendly to Mother Nature.

Doing my part to save the environment started when I was a lot more little when my mom would recycle quite literally everything.. And years after that she started composting food waste and turning it into detergents and stuff (which now, I must say is pretty cool despite the smell -cuz she uses almost all kinds of food wastes unlike the ones that are usually bought where lemons are used)

And at college I've also been doing my best to properly recycle my papers and stuff but still were using products that had plastic covers and stuff despite also recycling what I can.. papers and putting some of the plastic stuff into the plastic recycle bins hoping they went to the recycling plants and using tupperwares instead of to-go boxes :)

BUUUUUUT that still wasn't enough as I was still taking to-go cups, despite keeping the collars for future use.. etc etc

And overtime I found myself finding even more ways to be environmentally friendly.. starting with my period. Ah yes, the time of month where we bleed :) Nothing to be ashamed of as this happens to women world over, so I'm not sure why people get all weird about pads and stuff but anyway! Pads, I was using them but they're the disposable kinds and were not really great for the environment and it didn't even hit me until I watched a video about a menstrual cup:

Needless to say, I purchased it even though I couldn't back the project :) 

The cost wasn't too pleasing for my wallet, and especially so with the shitty currency exchange between my country and the US... and that was a huge step for me as I saw the improvement of garbage waste that I had. I even got a friend of mine to purchase her own! (: and now getting another comfortable with using it (this thing takes practice haha)

-abrupt end of Part 1 of this blog post cuz I have to get ready for school haha-

Thankful Friday

Oh my days.

School has once again begun.

In a whole new level with a whole new class and teacher. And everything.

Today is now day 3 and I've already had a rotation of teachers to know who I'm up against.

Haha sounds like I'm going to war. I guess after Level 2 I just somehow got more anxious when it came to my teachers. And this semester, it looks like it's gonna be pretty fun. My teacher pairings have not really let me down..

And this time I have a male teacher who reminds me so much of a good friend/older brother of mine whose all calm but loud when needs to be & funny in the most subtle way. Then yesterday we met the female teacher who says she's pretty loud and out there (kinda like me!) and was given the title "big bro" for her characteristics and she's hilarious too.

I guess now that I'm supposed to be really good at expressing my thoughts, I'm getting pretty anxious about messing up. Though that really shouldn't be a problem. I mean, I once stuttered because I had 3-4 grammar points I wanted to use all at once and just stumbled (at the mail office) and the dude just laughed at me.

But anyway. I guess I haven't really quite shown much appreciation to things lately. I noticed that I'm quick to be annoyed by someone's not-so-great bits instead of focusing on the nicer things they do.

And yesterday I watched a video where a photographer started a 365 appreciation day using photos and how it helped her rethink how she looks at life and more importantly her husband who shows her love in the smallest subtlest ways yet unbeknownst to her till her project.

And so today, I'm sharing this because I would like to be appreciative of the two individuals mentioned above and also the teachers who have been so patiently explaining everything to me and my classmates since the beginning haha

I posted an appreciation yesterday for the amount of Korean that I can now form with an amazement at being able to explain things + a throwback to when I first looked at

this and wanted to faint

But after learning for 3 semesters I think I'm starting to get the hang of this language (: 

Blocked Thursday

You know those times when you have a lot to say but you just blank?

Or when you've thought about all these things just to have them disappear because you never wrote them down?

Well, this is happening to me and so I feel like I'm kind of running around like a headless chicken lately.. Thus not so impressive posts or much lack thereof :(

So here's something I'd like to share instead:

Sorry it's so dark haha 

Reminded Thursday

Have you ever waken up and understood that you woke up hours later than the actual time?

I woke up today thinking it was 8am when it was already 10.30am. Apparently my friend who is visiting, turned my alarm off before it blasted (every single time it rang) and so I basically slept through the alarms.

And since it was snowing, and I'm still not quite biologically used to waking up in the cold (I usually turn off my heating blanket before knocking out), I am usually out cold till my eyes naturally blink open.

Then when I looked out the window, the buildings nearby had snow caps!

WOOH!

And before I know it, I'm now home, after finishing up a whole day of shipping, shopping, and meeting up with a friend for dinner and desserts. Even slipping in some time to visit a giant teddy bear

But realizing just how quickly time flies, and how waking up even an hour late affects your day.

When I was a kid, my parents used to make me wake up early (we're talking 6am) and would get mad whenever I would wake up even at 9am. And now I finally understood why. As much as it was great to have done quite a bit, at the end of the day, I can see why it would've been so much better to wake up really early.

Waking up late isn't counter productive, but life could be more productive if more stuff was done in the 24 hours that can never be retrieved once it's passed.


Speaking of time passed... And I believe we've all heard this before, but one of the most common regrets among those who were at their death bed, is that they went through life only working their asses off.. all for money.

Just a reminder. 

Restored Wednesday

Yesterday, I posted about an upsetting rendition of the current issues that are now storming the internet and my Facebook wall. And today, it's with a little hope that I've bumped into an inspiring piece of news that follows a tragic incident in Canada.

Not too long after the attack in Paris, a mosque was burnt down in Peterborough, Ontario. Done in fear and anger, aka HATE towards Muslims who aren't even remotely close to being a part of the tragic event (Paris), the damages were at a whopping $80,000.
But fortunately, the community was fast on their feet. Within the 1st day of it's fund raiser, they've raised $80k and ended with $110k to restore the damages. And with other religious groups coming together to offer a space for worship and prayer.

Check it out for yourself!

Butt Hurt Tuesday

Of late, there's just so much stuff going on with rights, privilege, terrorism, religion, and politics.

And while so many things are still left unspoken on these issues, one thing that seems consistent is the fact that everyone seems to be butt hurt about something. Everyone gets ultra sensitive over things and get over-defensive. Don't get me wrong, I get it. You're standing up for someone who did you wrong. That's great.

But sometimes, I think it may be a good idea to actually be able to differentiate those who are sincere, and those who are out to harm/hurt you. As individuals, we're kinda getting really worked up over things that we merely turn our gazes away from those who really want to help.

No name calling, no venting, because I'm also guilty of it all. Every experience that is spoken about here, I shall be the first to admit that I too have done it all. That's why it's with all hope that I share it with you that being angry all the time has never gotten me anywhere beneficial.

Not sure why, but every time I fly, I'm always seated next to some creep who seems to conveniently spill his arms over on my side of the seat and leaves me feeling really helpless and in dire need to have a seat change. I remember once telling someone about this and in response, I was told to always ask for a change of seats, and if I sounded a little more mad/upset, I'd never know, I might get an upgrade, aka Business Class? Not sure.
But anyway, while this did strike a bell within, it also was a little uncalled for. As the flight attendant I would be speaking to would be getting the not-so-pleasant end of my feelings and would in turn feel a little uncomfortable. You might be saying "well, pssh, they get the runt end of the bud pretty often, this is nothing" but let's be real here. Imagine you're the flight attendant, you've had a long day of work (flying to and from the same goddamn country for the upteenth time, having to do your job in the highest honorific manners -assuming you're not allowed to talk back-) and you've already had a handful of flyers who still think "the customer's ALWAYS right" and has spoken to you in a commanding manner.
To have another person kinda add to that doesn't make you any happier, does it?

Take for example, you've made plans to meet your friends at a restaurant. You're the first to get there and you've placed your food and beverage orders in. You request for your food to arrive together when the rest of the party comes and put in their orders, but our beverage can come first. So it does. But in a series of speed events, your friends all arrive at the same time and order basically the same thing as you and claims the same meal as theirs first. Then you get upset and ask where your order went, and you ask for it in a condescending way, all angry and demanding.
If I were the owner of the place, I'd kick your ass to the curb and tell you that I'd rather have you not come to the restaurant, then to have rude customers.
Business is still business you say? By golly, no wonder the world is filled with entitled people.
But again, as always, I digress.

If I were the waiter, and let's just say that I've already been in a poor position in life, and was considering not so positive things, this would be the easy push I'd add to my struggles.

Why is it that we all tend to forget the most fundamental: we're all humans, and while a huge sum of this earth's population is by contemporary definition: a fucking asshole, there are still those who are sincere about helping/contributing to your happiness.
But it seems to me that it's so difficult for all of us to take a step back and be like, hey, this person is being sincere. I know, you've trusted someone and they've ended up hurting you. Well, bud, can't say I don't understand. But we're in the same boat, really. So maybe, ease it up a bit. Be defensive when necessary, but being overly vulgar/violent about your stance will only lead to more detriment.

Remember the flight attendant or the feeling you've gotten when you've been accused of something you're not/didn't do. That should give you a good idea about things.

Monday Momday

So the discussion on breast feeding has been a pretty sound talk of late.
I noticed that as more and more soon-to-be-moms/moms are preparing for either childbirth or motherhood, more and more are opting for more natural ways such as natural births, aka no shots, no painkillers, water births, etc and less formula more breast feeding, and the list goes on.

And one thing that's been circulating round social media is the talk of breastfeeding and milk pumping. One pretty big case was when actress Alyssa Milano took to Twitter about how Heathrow took her breast milk (that was pumped and bottled) while going through security.

Let's be real here. There are multiple reasons why women pump. One of them, which is the main one, is that the milk glands are full and need to be released. That can be done either via feeding, or pumping. And sometimes when you wanna feed, but the baby won't take it, you're left with the only other option.

Here's a quick article on Alyssa's incident.

There are tons more on the internet if you do a quick search.

And another is A LOT, and I mean

A LOT 

of people complaining (rightfully so) about the individuals/groups of people who shoot them stink eyes or have quite a mouthful to offload on moms who are breast feeding in public. One that I recently read off Facebook was about "a badass breastfeeding mama" who was not having it when a lady was staring at her and commanding her to cover up while breastfeeding her baby. She posted a photo and wrote a long post (please do take out the time to read it) and there she shed light on the stereotypes people seem to have built around this simple act of feeding ones child.

Earlier today I posted this picture of my son and I breastfeeding uncovered in a public restaurant. In the picture, it...
Posted by Ashley Kaidel on Tuesday, 24 November 2015

And quite frankly, I agree with everything she said. Here's something I don't quite understand. As a child, I've watched my mom breast feed my brother as a baby. And even though that was the case, I remember another time when I was on the train, I remember seeing a lady breast feeding her baby, and though I was familiar with it, as a child I was perplexed to see it for a couple reasons. 1, I only saw mom doing it, so it assured me that mom wasn't the only one. 2, it's perfectly normal. I was with my grandpa then, and he never thought anything about it, he just told me to stop staring because it's just rude to stare (especially for the whole process) in a way it's like invading someone's space ya feel me?

So anyway, it seems to me that in the mid nineties up till about a few years back, people were more keen on feeding their babies formulas, which I'm not condemning, I mean my mom went that route with my brother too. But now that people are picking the breast feeding practice back up, no one should really argue about it. If you read the post a badass breastfeeding mama made, you'll see some of the ridiculous things people have said to her and most definitely to other breastfeeding mommas as well. And quite frankly, these people need to re-evaluate the things they say. Seriously. "Boobs are for their husbands only". WHUT.

GTFO. 

I honestly feel that everyone wants to have an opinion, wants to have a say in everything, even when it least involves them, even when it's unnecessary. Especially when it adds points to their kiasu-ness (kiasu: when you refuse to admit losing, even when the odds are DEAD OBVIOUSLY AGAINST you). 

COME ON.

Let's be real here, why is it that you have such strong opinions on things that matter least, but NOTHING to say when it REALLY matters? Hmm? 

To a badass breastfeeding mama and ALL the moms out there who are faced with the stupendously loud and obnoxious sounding of people who think that BOOBS are only for the husbands, I salute you all and hope that you do not let these people tell you how you feed your child.
Because yes, covering yourself up when you eat is the new trend.

Ouchie Thursday

You know when you work out after a long while, or when your workout was a really good one?
And then you're super sore in places you forgot had muscles?

I've been dancing, practice after practice, rehearsal rehearsal, which leads me to my current state... of sore.

Today is the final day of school (for this term) and so I'd like to keep this one short and simple and just share with you how sore I am haha.

Like, REALLY sore. Those who've either done splits recently, or just started doing splits, you know what I mean. My legs in general hurt so bad right now tho haha

High five if you're in some sort of pain but are bossing through it. (I'm pretending not to be in pain, with the exception of this post haha)

Vicious Wednesday

In light of the Paris attacks many have come out to show their solidarity and to share their thoughts and prayers to the victims.

AND THEN there is people who are sending death threats and actual attempts in killing muslims post Paris attacks. Not that these never really existed before Paris, but this amount increased. A mosque was burned down in Canada, and a couples house severed some gun shots while they were out feeding the homeless.

Thank goodness they were actually out doing good instead of being at home.

And in a video by AJ+ (Al Jazeera+), we witness a man calling up a mosque and threatening to shoot every single person in the mosque and adds that he doesn't care "if they're 2 or 100".

Seriously?


It's a bloody vicious cycle when you keep doing shit like this.
Why won't you use all this goddamn energy to do good? Like, I don't know feed the homeless, fight for better education, donate to technology advancement in health, start a new sport, SOMETHING USEFUL AND PRODUCTIVE INSTEAD OF ALL THIS GOD FORSAKEN HATE.

A couple months ago my childhood friend visited me, and he was staying Seoul Station, pretty much the one-stop-shop for the airport, out of state train travels, and buses. And if you didn't know, Seoul Station is actually known to be the place where A LOT of homeless stay and get food from NGOs and all.

What was interesting was that my friend, as he was walking by, saw the homeless people, and then saw that there was a big (I shan't name the religion so I shall say) religious event going on, like an appreciation offering kind of event. According to my friend, it wasn't too small, and had a stage, speakers, and all. But all they were doing were just gathering and praising.

Then my friend asked: why would they spend all that money for this, and not use it to help the homeless? They're really obvious cuz they're just walking around this event. And this struck me. Yeah, why? Don't get me wrong, I'm not condemning anyone here, but why do people have to spend money unnecessarily instead of using it to do more good?

And so it goes back to the Islamophobic video which you can check out for yourself here.

WHY? 

Why won't you use all that hate, all that energy to get off your high horse and help those in need instead of spreading all this hate towards people who were not even involved? What is wrong with you?


#WHEREISTHELOVE

Rainfall Tuesday

Yesterday, around the time I posted my blog post, I was once again going through some of the wall posts on my home. And there were some rather passionate people who like me, were calling others out.

Everyone seemed to be calling out different people for different reasons. And while some were more chill, some were pretty straightforward. And for some reason, I felt pretty bad. Seeing the amount of likes on one, and not adding to the statistics, I chatted one of my friends up and told her how I was feeling. More like I asked her...

"why do I feel bad for reading your post"

She responded in getting me to check myself in asking why?
So I told her that well, at the end of the day, after all this, I am just merely one person behind a keyboard.

And why does that matter? Well, cuz we all are. We can say all these things and be opinionated about whatever but ultimately we're all behind the safe haven of a keyboard. We're not on the frontline defending anyone, sacrificing our lives for anyone. Yet we have the most to say.

And I don't think it helps that France used violence to respond to violence.

Monday Again

You need not be a world class journalist to know that tragedy struck France this past weekend. Just scrolling through your Facebook will show you how the world has come into solidarity with the victims & families of those who were at the fated theatre.

And yes, grief is much needed for everyone, especially those personally affected by the incidents. Be it the families or those lives taken, the survivors who are probably now also having to deal with the trauma, those whose friends were in that theatre, and the rest of us, who do not think that this was at all necessary, and are choosing to send prayers/love/support to the victims.

On the other hand, while all this is said, I find it truly distasteful and in fact, rude, for anyone to call out on another for also turning the gaze on events that have been occurring either before or simultaneously alongside the Paris attack.

Take.. this article for example:

Unfortunately, if you were to follow the article, you won't really be able to say whether or not the Malaysian actress Wardina Safiyyah (who seems to be penalized here) really said something "distasteful". However, if we're basing it on what the writer says here:

"Wardina Saffiyah’s Official Page instead highlighted the instances of people dying in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Palestine who are not given as much attention. "

(con't) Whatever the actress had said was (from how I see it) a way of her saying "hey, these tragedies are happening too. Why aren't we acknowledging/ talking about them?" 

For this to be deemed as "distasteful" and that whatever Syed Nizamuddin Sayed Khassim had to say "deserved a standing ovation", just breaks my heart. 

It's so easy to jump on the band wagon and ask the humanistic question of "aren't these people human as well?" But let's be critical on ourselves here... When we start pinning down and defending only one group of victims, we're not really doing anything. In fact, we're only acting out on our biases. When we do something like this, we're not really caring for victims as humans, we're merely picking and choosing who we're crying for. 

And sadly, while, yes, he does have a point. You don't say things like that at a funeral, not anywhere, not even in any given situation. But, when you write an article, calling someone distasteful, and giving a WWE smack down to get our protagonist to realize something, and only AFTER, dyou say "let's also take a moment to acknowledge the other victims in other war zones/attacks", your after word holds no meaning. 

It reminds me of when someone is about to say something that you're not too keen on listening ie:

You're about to get fired. Your boss calls you in, compliments you on everything you've been doing, thanks you for all the great things you've helped the company achieve, but ends it with a "how should I say this" and resumes by firing you. Everything that he had said leading up to those last words of your exit would mean nothing. 

And this, kinda feels like that. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not the best advocate in bringing news in regards to every attack/ war that's taking place in the world. If I were, I'd probably already be hired to be a journalist by now (I digress). In many aspects, I am rather unqualified to say anything cuz like I've been told "because your ONE opinion is what only matters" (sarcasm, by the way, if you couldn't tell). However, I do say that order of these events aren't important. Yes, that day it was Paris' day to mourn. But everyday, on a daily basis, even when Paris was happening, people in a war torn country are facing the atrocities that Paris witness that one fateful night. All in all, I see no harm in which the Malaysian actress (whose comment on the incident I still am not able to see) is also crying out for a gaze in their direction as well. 

On a side note, if we're kinda doing what was suggested, in mourning for the next attack, by now, we should be in various countries and bringing attention to things regarding all the places that have innocent victims losing their lives. But, from what I see, quite a lot of us are still kinda stuck on Paris. What does that say about us? 

#whereisthelove gais? 

Brokedown Friday

A sense of humor is much needed these last few days as things have started becoming challenging on it's own. And I guess I wasn't quite aware of the stress I had building inside until yesterday..

during my speaking exam.

Uh, yeah. I went to school feeling pretty good. I knew my grammar, I could usually just come up with something on the spot, and just re-use the stuff I said during class during the exam. Shouldn't be a big deal. So after the listening test, we waited outside the classroom while the other students did their tests. Then it was my turn.

Went into the room and sat before the teacher. In the past, all the other teachers have made some kind of small talk but not this one. I was told to read out loud for the 1st part, then it was straight onto the next part of doing a conversation. I struggled a little, nothing unusual really.

Then came the next part where I had to recount an experience I had at a concert. I thought about what I roughly wanted to say and said it... But, with a lot of effort. At one point, I got stuck and had a long pause. Then I told the teacher that I wasn't too confident. And then I broke down haha. She seemed pretty surprised that that happened and spent the next god knows how long to convince me that I was doing alright. And despite all that, I was still teary eyed and then we went on with the exam. I finished it all, and came out dying on the inside.

Needless to say, I didn't feel too great after that... And to add to it all, I learnt from my student's mother that we shan't be having class anymore due to her daughter's busy schedule. Man, that blows. I wasn't too taken aback as I was already expecting it. I mean, I went all the way there last week to find out that they had cancelled class, but because I had no phone, could not check the message they sent me.

But yeah. So yesterday I just spent the rest of the day at home, calmly looking through the past writings we made in prep for tomorrow's writing exam. And once all that's done, I'm going to go out and get some fresh air cuz I've only been studying this whole semester. Minus the dinner times, where I would basically eat nearby to save on travel time.

And well, today is a new day and there's no point dwelling in what happened yesterday. It was a painful experience but it's okay. Things happen, and that's all just a part of me now. Next part is what I can do to make even more memories. Whether or not they'll be good or a painful one like this one, it all adds to the charm of life.

Happy Friday to you (:

Ignorant Thursday

It's an interesting polar to hear people's thoughts on certain things but to see them turn around and do something completely different. I think this is a good video that kind shows that in many ways, not in just the gender equality part, but some other stuff as well...

I think one thing we all tend to forget is the kind of privilege we have. For many of us, we aren't aware of it because we're so caught up in our problems and issues that we need to resolve that we don't become aware of what we actually do have. Pretty simple, yet, such a magnanimous task for us to carry out. 

Woman Crush Wednesday

It's a little funny, yesterday after talking about accomplishing small things and feeling good about myself, things started to become a little more challenging.

From the teacher repeating what I needed to do despite me responding "okay, I got it! I'll do that" three times. Then, still not quite having the perfect dance routine during dance class and the performance being next week..

To coming home and feeling like a mess cuz of the pile of clothes, although clean, stacked next to where I usually sit, and not wanting to do anything but had to still make dinner and then get on with studying.

Sounds like an easy day. It could've been, if I hadn't been so impatient with myself I guess. And I think that's my biggest challenge, of being so impatient.. :/

But eitherway, today is a new day! With a Woman Crush Wednesday:

I would ask you to guess but the Youtube video kinda gives it away.. 

Accomplished Tuesday

It's Tuesday am I'm feeling somewhat accomplished and optimistic.

Yesterday missed a post despite me actually having 2 things to talk about...

I shall get to that in a bit..

But yesterday I woke up an hour earlier, did my homework, had breakfast, did the dishes, got everything ready, didn't miss a thing, and got to school early (;

I talk a lot about constantly challenging ourselves. Even if it means something small, like waking up at the time you set, having everything you need before leaving the house, and getting all you need done before you go about your daily routine.

Small as it may seem, it is significant in the way we undertake everything else. The sense of accomplishment we feel only carries itself forward and keeps pushing us to be even more optimistic about our day's work.

So yes, I did feel accomplished yesterday. I hope we can all set mini goals daily to feel accomplished in our own ways (:

Baffled Friday

I had so many things on my mind yesterday that I had wanted to share.

But after an exhausting day, some really tired feet, and calling it a night at almost 10pm (a new record for me), I woke up to my eyes in a line of crusty eye wax, and at a loss for words. But even as I'm typing this, the only think I could think about was Thanksgiving.

Not quite the one you have in mind though.. Yesterday, we had a mini audition for a Thanksgiving performance for the entire school (which is basically the main university student body + faculty). And the university's school choir was singing a song which if I was not mistaken had the word "Jesus" in it.. Not that there's anything wrong with it, just found it kinda ironic for Thanksgiving, really. But of course, as it was an "audition", the professor in charge stopped the performance halfway through and asked for another option, which wasn't sung as well as the previous one, but had a more livelier feel to it, it was an IU song, and you can imagine, in a choir how it would sound if the balance of octaves were there...

I mean, to be real though, our performance was also shit.. HAHA

We had only learnt the dance in 2 classes and were expected to perform it. So, we might be switching back to something more familiar lol 

But I mean, Bang Bang Bang for Thanksgiving definitely sounds like a great option either way haha

(a concoction of bias and sarcasm, thus overexcitement for the song and also not entirely feeling it in general)

---

ON ANOTHER NOTE THO!

Born today, 201 years ago was the man who apparently invented a ton of musical instruments: 

and had laid groundwork on this

Happy Birthday sir.

Lol go Wiki him cuz this is whoa

Picturesqued Thursday

As per usual, I try to look up stuff to have variety to talk about every morning.
And today is no different, but over the last couple days, you may have noticed some tweaks here and there.
Frankly, I felt like I wasn't growing/moving as a writer and so I've been trying to incorporate other things that'll hopefully give me some wiggle room to switch things up a little. So bare with me while I go through this process! (: But I digress..

Today, I found something that I think quite a lot of us can really enjoy: superheroes!

Depicting different perspectives on being a hero, we should remember that capes and fancy costumes are just optional (:

Human Hump Day

Emily Dowell 

is a cancer survivor who created a set of empathy cards to help those giving support, but who seem to kinda make things a little less nice.. And while many of them help with supporting those with an illness, this one stood out and applies to also a normal daily encounter. 

Sadly, there's always some sort of expectation or standard to live up to, and in many cases, we'd get into a state of negativity that somehow gets us to think we're lesser than what we are, sometimes resulting in us branding ourselves as something less. So I thought this would be a good reminder that we're all human, shit happens, and shitty feelings occur.. 

Freeway Tuesday?

When I was 9 I still remember looking at a map and thinking that if I drove from Malaysia, I would still be able to make it to the States.

Well, I might need to kinda jump over the ocean between Russia and Alaska (hey I was 9 with a good imagination ok) to get to the States but I would still make it!
And who knew that now, this childhood idea of mine may just come true (:

The Trans-Eurasian belt Development is currently underway and this freeway will end in London. Trillions of monies in the making, I am pretty curious of the end result.

Not that we'll be able to see it in the near future... I don't think. First of all, monies. I would insert some intelligent comment here about monies but to be honest, I am not too familiar with the Russian economy but let's be real, trillions is A LOT of money. I mean if you go here, you'll be able to watch how much debt the US is in and so I'm not sure (if the US is on board) that they would actually want to be a part of all this.. I mean, as great as it is, do they really need it?

Speaking of, is the US and UK even down for this? Well I don't see why in terms of tourism but if ya think the possibilities that can happen...

HEHE

Hump Day Mask

Busy Stress Combo

Its been a hectic weekend leading up to this week thus nothing on Friday :(

Technically Mad

Tuesday Format

Over The Weekend

GAH! SO CUTE

Pooh Thursday

Delayed Start

Hangeul Friday

Wedded Thursday

Summoned Monday

Revolutionary Thursday

Fist Bump Hump Day

Combat Thursday

Rubbish Hump Day

Happy Hump Day!

Tuesday Shower Woes

Friday Ancestory

Thanks, Nat Geo!

Thursday Trembles

Not A Humpty Dumpy Wednesday

Tainted Tuesday