Interconnected-In-One-Way-Or-Another

It is 0400.

I've finished watching what, 2 movies, and I've checked Facebook, my hotmail and Soka email at least 10 times. This is like a habit thing.

Then, among the silence, frozen toes and continuous opening and closing of tabs, I realized that I've not visited the blogs of my dear friends from home.

So, I decided to open Nawwar's blog. Only to be brought to the page where blogger informs you that the person has moved. Oh right...
So I go to the blog I was informed about when the switch happened.

I read about what has recently occurred in her life. Yet, as I read her blog I realize just how much my dear friend hides when she doesn't want people to be worrying about her. Well, that was not very fun, finding out stuff about her that she decided not to tell me. All with good reason though. Which kinda explains her lack in hyper or jumping-screaming-laughing-insanity lately.
Nawwar kesayangan, if you're reading this, we need to talk. HEH. :)

Then, it was time to take a visit to Aliah's blog.

She posted something quite interesting. She made a list of things that we all take for granted and forget all so easily.

Titling it "Realizing it before 25" she lists:

1. How easy it is for people to belittle you when you don't have enough courage to argue with your intelligence.

2. There are a lot of crazy weird people in this world. You need to suck-it up and put it in your book of experience.

3. Be humble.

4. It's his/her prerogative to not answer your questions.

It's weird. Because for a while now, I've been doing lots of thinking and reflecting upon myself and how I've been acting and thinking lately. I've made many determinations over the past year or so. Thanks to a certain someone who has made me open my eyes just a slight more, I've started seeing the world in a different light. Then, talking to some truly amazing friends both from home and Soka, I've been making new goals of bettering myself. Yet I find myself truly conflicted with everything that I'm thinking versus everything I have to become. Have you ever felt so comfy in your state of negativity that you don't wanna step back out into the positive side of things?

Then I decided to move on to Zoe's blog.

First wham bam, I forgot to wish her happy birthday. I'm a shitty ass friend for forgetting my kawan's birthday. Shame right?
So, Zoe, if you're reading this... Happy BE-BE-BE-BE-BELATED Birthday. 
I got you more postcards from Paris. With stamps too :) 

Anyway, in one of her posts, she lists 11 10 options on what to do with her life cause she's feeling kinda poopy about it:

Option1: Hug my cookie monster and go to bed.
Option2: Start thinking about Asher Evelyn Raphael and kick myself for being so ungrateful.
Option3: Laugh Out Loud.
Option4: EAT and grow fat.
Option5: Drink lotsa water cos it seems to help.
Option 6: Put on some good ol' Christian music and just drown.
Option 7: Talk to myself or God. Just chit chat.
Option 8: Think about my upcoming birthday and SIGH at how old I'm gonna "officially" be.
Option 9: Stare at my postcards and wish to travel somewhere so far away I don't needa think.
Option 10: Die. Okay no this is not an option at all. Scratch that.
Option 10: Think about how I can make tomorrow better than today. Live long and prosper.

I've considered some of the above options too. Even the ones that are aren't scratched. Though I would never do it. But I mean, honestly. I feel like I'm kinda going crazy trying to figure all this out.

Hmm, seems like me and my friends are kinda connected in some deep spiritual way? 

♥ 

I'm not one to point fingers but lately I've come to the realization that whenever I talk to someone and the other party gets upset because I got upset over something he/she said/did, the whole incident always comes back to me being the bad guy. Okay, seriously. This is not fun. Me being me as well, I just turn around, and peace out till the water cools and come back as if nothing has happened because confrontation is something I hate.

Also, why is it that is it okay for people to make empty promises to me, then when I get kinda upset about it because of the current situation with the same situation that is happening with another person, I end up being the one who is shut off? Why am I the one being called "crazy" just cause I got frustrated at the fact that someone was being upset over the teeny tiniest thing? And why is this person being upset at me when there was another person who he/she can be annoyed at?

I. JUST. DON'T. GET. IT. ♥ 

Enlightenment please?