Week Two: "And I Built A Home"

There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home

And I built a home
For you
For me

Until you disappeared
From me
From you

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground has arose and passed it's knees
By the cracks of his skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down

Held on as tightly as you held onto me

And I built a home
For you
For me

Until you disappeared
From me
From you

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust.

Who's A Hot Mess?

Whoa.

The last month has been such an insanely busy one!
I've taken yet another break from the blogging because I was busy conducting work/catching up with school, and... my life in general.

From my current position, looking at myself, I am somewhat of a mess.

I just found out that:

1. The Visa I had intended on getting cannot be obtained with my current Visa.
2. After this semester, I only have till August to LEARN and make all the mistakes I can make in my Korean learning process.
3. Everyday is a conscious and painful effort to focus on my work, and not on the social media of the person I wish I could talk to instead.
4. I'm starting to wonder if I'm sane anymore. Especially with what I say. I could've sworn that I said A, but I end up getting an angry recount of what I said because I've offended the opposite party. That or what they recall is definitely different from what (I can positively attest to) I've said.
5. This one isn't particularly pressing but. For the school club activities, pizza parties have been scraped, and so have... performing (especially so for Dance and Singing Club. What's the point if we don't showcase the awesome stuff we've learnt?)
 6. I'm worried about my future, and my family, especially my parents and how they're taking care of their health :( & also my beloved doggy. Mom told me that she was really sad when I went away for 2 days (after going home), so much so, she didn't wanna eat. That breaks my heart.

One good news is I managed to complete Level 4, albeit barely. I made it! But it still scares me that I just barely made it :( That means I have a lot to work on as I work through all the other stuff. Which, isn't necessarily a bad thing cuz thankfully I have two REALLY AMAZING teachers. One from my last semester, whose classes I really enjoy, and the other who knows her stuff at a godly level, and is really diligent in teaching us :)

With all that said, I have so many things to be thankful for.

1. I'm thankful for being able to afford to live in a place that has heating. It's no longer winter but it's still pretty cool out, and having hot showers is most definitely something to be thankful for.
2. The classmates I have this semester are pretty great.
3. My roommate makes having a roommate easy. She's super open to new things, she talks a lot, thus is CONSTANTLY keeping my (also) talkative self entertained at all times.
4. My students' moms really like me, and as much as I am no professional, it is always truly heartwarming to hear them tell me that their kid says "that was fun!"and one of them has offered me a job at her center with a visa and housing too. Something to consider & be absolutely grateful for.
5. I get to get my beautiful voice heard on the Korean airwaves, and I get to meet some really nice people when I work at the radio station. An opportunity that nothing can really replace (:
6. People around me are not terminally ill and I get to still hang out with them even if they're physically remote from me. Something that I've often taken for granted. :(
7. I got to meet up with my home boys and girls, and just the fact that I got to fly home to do that with no hiccups, is tear jerking, painfully GOOD.

I think I've lost myself a little bit. 

Now, it's up to me to make things work. 
Time to get back up. 

Hump Day Mask

Monday Merdeka

Two years ago, today, I wrote something in honor of my beloved country, Malaysia, as a token for it's 56th birthday.

(just in case you're curious and missed it, click on "something in honor of my beloved country, Malaysia")

Here is how I ended it:

Malaysia, you have molded me into the person I am today.
Your education system, albeit horrifyingly flawed in countless manners, have helped me with languages.
Your people, a wondrous melting pot, has taught me to learn, respect, and accept other cultures and beliefs within and without my country.
Your food, a tease to the eyes, orgasmic to the tastebuds
Your natural beauty, a hidden gem, still remains a mystery to those who those who seek discovery.
Once a strategic location in history, caused many a fight between east and west.
Once a promising country, development on the rise.
But now, you're fifty six in age, looking back on your life thus far, what have you accomplished?

_________

Today, we mark yet another milestone, 58 years, almost at it's Diamond anniversary since it's independence from colonization. Yesterday, and the day before, we linked arms in solidarity, united as one to sit, pray, eat, sing, dance, and, in our own peaceful manner, fight for change, that is #Bersih
. On Day 1, as I scrolled through my Facebook, I saw photos of almost every friend from my generation showing up in their brand spanking new yellow tees, bright smiles, and groups of friends. My Facebook feed is literally crowded in selfies of those who attend and/or some sort of proof of their presence there...

to not pick among the selfie takers, I chose these photo by my cousin instead

However, by evening, things started to slow down. A lot less selfies, but a lot more uploads of what happened during and throughout the day. Maybe batteries were dying or dead, and can be used for later when the emergencies hit. I mean, not everyone has a Power Bank *points at self*, I get it.
Then night comes. A message in my group text. B chimes:"guys, stay the night, it's not done yet." A response out of 20 over individuals, "kudos for staying".

*   *   *

Day 2 of the rally.
Hmm, oddly little photos by the same people who have either camped out or got up early for Day 2.
As the day got hotter, still photos of & by the same people....
Instead of a sea of yellow, the photos have been replaced by latte art, wines, cheeses, vacations, #longweekend
But wait, what about the yellow tees?
Out of a (Kuala Lumpur) population of 1.67million people, only 300,000 showed up on day 2, which isn't even half...
Facebook is still playing news anchor with newsfeeds of, wait..
Who are wearing the yellow tees? My friends in their late 30s and 40s.
But of course, the ones in the US, more like, New York. Which presents a virtual but spectacular view.

photo of my cousin at night of Day 2.
Stunning, can it be better?



My question this year is (so bare with me on this one):
Malaysia, you have molded me into the person I am today.
Your education system, albeit horrifyingly flawed in countless manners, have helped me with languages.
Your food, a tease to the eyes, orgasmic to the tastebuds
Your people, a wondrous melting pot, has taught me to gather and unite through diversity, and be called minions to oppose something so poisonous to the land.
Your natural beauty, a hidden gem, still remains a mystery to those who those who seek discovery.
Once a strategic location in history, caused many a fight between east and west.
But now, you're almost sixty, yet still struggling to fight for a change that is still lightyears delayed.
You're another day, another year older but in the eyes of the youth, those lattes, wines, cheese platters, or long weekend vacations are way easier than camping out in the sun fighting for change.
So all those chants, for something better, something BERSIH, was just for a day or two?

borrowed from Malaysiakini

____________

I hope to be proven wrong, and that lots of people from my generation still decided that they could enjoy their beverages and foods with their fellow Malaysians, singing, dancing, cheering, and talking on the streets in KL. And that the #instagram worthy photos was a #throwback or something.

Because how can we progress if like a can of soda we fizz out and call it a day after less than 24 hours?
If we, the future of this country, decide to take the back seat and chill out, letting the older generation do the work, then when on Malaysia's 80th birthday, how are we gonna look like?

Earth Day! (:

Happy Earth Day everyone!
While it is about the environment, it is also about giving back. So for those interested, we're feeding the homeless tonight and it os Easter themed!
Where: Central Market Parking Lot
When: 9PM
What: Bring a backpack, wear a white top or anything close to it (tees are best), and tell yer friends!
But in my humble opinion, everyday should be Earth Day and we should always find ways to give back, whether its to the homeless or to Mother Nature. Everyday should be a day to take care of people/things that aren't just ourselves.

Monday Mindset