Love & Prayers to A

Today and yesterday has kinda got me hit in a way that has me kicking myself in the buttocks.

In an attempt of accomplishing a task, I contacted a complete stranger who, despite is gaining monetarily from this transaction. To make the story telling easier, let's name her A. A was an absolute angel in agreeing to help me accomplish my insanely challenging task. While many others who I had also contacted had stricter guidelines and restrictions (which I totally understood), A, in her goodness has taken on the task personally. Which had made me absolutely ecstatic!

But of course, being an insanely challenging task, there was the uncontrollable factors that prevented the task from being carried forward. And so she contacted me to seek out more help from my end. So after searching high and low, I found someone willing to join on this seemingly impossible task. Then I connected the two and my friend had started giving suggestions when we got a respond from A saying that her husband was in critical condition. Turns out that he had been sick for a while and had to be admitted to the hospital and the doctors said that he might not make it. But even despite all this, she was still putting me first, telling me that she'd refund me and things.

Even at a critical moment like that, she was putting me first. At that point, nothing else really mattered but her family. So of course my friend and I told A not to worry about the task and to just take care of her husband. It was the end of the night, so my friend and I called it a night.

Then today, A informed me that her husband passed away at midnight last night. At this point, I was post nap and had been insanely pissy the afternoon over some menial thing and was bitching to my friend who by that point was just cross and fed up with me. Haha. But the moment when I got that text from A, everything just stopped. And immediately felt like the biggest, most ungrateful child in the entire planet.

The rest of the night, I just kept harping on the fact that A, this angel, who had made it her mission to make other people's day a fantastic one despite dealing with a big thing at home. The rest of the night, till now, I've just been thinking about how lame I've been in making my problems seem so big. No doubt they are difficult to deal with, but man, they are small small small. And I should not be using any of it to be an excuse to be a shitty person. Which I have been of late. And I have so much to be ashamed of, with a major dose of reflection.

And so tonight, my prayers go out to A and her family in this painful time.

If you're reading this, please take a second to send A your prayers and love.

Monday Again

You need not be a world class journalist to know that tragedy struck France this past weekend. Just scrolling through your Facebook will show you how the world has come into solidarity with the victims & families of those who were at the fated theatre.

And yes, grief is much needed for everyone, especially those personally affected by the incidents. Be it the families or those lives taken, the survivors who are probably now also having to deal with the trauma, those whose friends were in that theatre, and the rest of us, who do not think that this was at all necessary, and are choosing to send prayers/love/support to the victims.

On the other hand, while all this is said, I find it truly distasteful and in fact, rude, for anyone to call out on another for also turning the gaze on events that have been occurring either before or simultaneously alongside the Paris attack.

Take.. this article for example:

Unfortunately, if you were to follow the article, you won't really be able to say whether or not the Malaysian actress Wardina Safiyyah (who seems to be penalized here) really said something "distasteful". However, if we're basing it on what the writer says here:

"Wardina Saffiyah’s Official Page instead highlighted the instances of people dying in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Palestine who are not given as much attention. "

(con't) Whatever the actress had said was (from how I see it) a way of her saying "hey, these tragedies are happening too. Why aren't we acknowledging/ talking about them?" 

For this to be deemed as "distasteful" and that whatever Syed Nizamuddin Sayed Khassim had to say "deserved a standing ovation", just breaks my heart. 

It's so easy to jump on the band wagon and ask the humanistic question of "aren't these people human as well?" But let's be critical on ourselves here... When we start pinning down and defending only one group of victims, we're not really doing anything. In fact, we're only acting out on our biases. When we do something like this, we're not really caring for victims as humans, we're merely picking and choosing who we're crying for. 

And sadly, while, yes, he does have a point. You don't say things like that at a funeral, not anywhere, not even in any given situation. But, when you write an article, calling someone distasteful, and giving a WWE smack down to get our protagonist to realize something, and only AFTER, dyou say "let's also take a moment to acknowledge the other victims in other war zones/attacks", your after word holds no meaning. 

It reminds me of when someone is about to say something that you're not too keen on listening ie:

You're about to get fired. Your boss calls you in, compliments you on everything you've been doing, thanks you for all the great things you've helped the company achieve, but ends it with a "how should I say this" and resumes by firing you. Everything that he had said leading up to those last words of your exit would mean nothing. 

And this, kinda feels like that. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not the best advocate in bringing news in regards to every attack/ war that's taking place in the world. If I were, I'd probably already be hired to be a journalist by now (I digress). In many aspects, I am rather unqualified to say anything cuz like I've been told "because your ONE opinion is what only matters" (sarcasm, by the way, if you couldn't tell). However, I do say that order of these events aren't important. Yes, that day it was Paris' day to mourn. But everyday, on a daily basis, even when Paris was happening, people in a war torn country are facing the atrocities that Paris witness that one fateful night. All in all, I see no harm in which the Malaysian actress (whose comment on the incident I still am not able to see) is also crying out for a gaze in their direction as well. 

On a side note, if we're kinda doing what was suggested, in mourning for the next attack, by now, we should be in various countries and bringing attention to things regarding all the places that have innocent victims losing their lives. But, from what I see, quite a lot of us are still kinda stuck on Paris. What does that say about us? 

#whereisthelove gais?