I've been watching a huge tsunami of break up and heart ache in the past month and a half. For some bizarre reason, it is always around this time of year when this epidemic hits. All of a sudden, like a huge downpour of Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr (okay, this one is ALWAYS flooded with messages of heartbreak) posts of broken hearts, painful break ups, and what have you nots, anything within or that is related to that genre. So, having had a break up of my own (though a while back), I have fallen into the category of what I'd like to call, The Bitter Single.
Not that I don't catch myself being all emotional when it comes to anything lovey dovey. However, it is around this time of year what with the blockbuster of fallen relationships and sob stories, I can't help but join in the clan and intensify my thirst for more romantic movies, sappy love songs, and articles of falling in love. Here is a list of stuff I've been watching/reading/listening to since I got home (in no particular order):
Distance - Jason Mraz + Christina Perri
(Pretty much anything Christina Perri related)
er yeah, guess who cried watching these?
these two movies in particular have sent chills down my spine.
Then, made me shed silent tears and give me nightmares.
Kay, slight exaggeration there but I guess you get the picture.
Did I also mention that when I take my dose of retail therapy, I keep in mind the fact that I should dress and decorate myself a certain way in hope of having some sort of boost of self confidence and courage to deal with awkward situations and hanging conversations. You know what they say about dress codes and what it does to one's performance of the day. I've actually seen results in the benefits of dressing up regardless of occasion. But this is a completely separate topic that shall be spoken of in another post.
Either way, I think I should stop here cause the list is pretty much pitless. However though, I would like to share with you one of the articles that I decided to dive into. This one appeared on my friend's wall, and I as I read it, I had thought about the way I've acted to a certain few and how, pretty much, this article sums up, in exactly SIX HUNDRED WORDS. The things I do (or maybe this applies to the few of us wanting a little lovin from the guy/girl we find most interesting in our lives at this very moment?) in hopes of trying to hide how I feel in order to avoid the rejection, or even worse, the jeopardy of a friendship that holds dear to my heart. We've all heard it before, some of us (perhaps even all of us) have said this to our friends that are stuck in the seat en route to Destination HeartBreak. We've tried convincing the listener that if he/she (as in the guy/girl you're head over heels for) decides to not be friends with you upon learning about your feelings then they were not worth it to begin with anyway. But while we scratch the itch on our skulls and try to pick our next move, we know that this person, regardless, holds too much value in your life (recalling all those late night messaging, those cup of coffee days -not dates, DAYS-, dinners as friends -oh how you wish they were ACTUAL dates instead-, etc). All that time and money spent on this individual. In the end, what do we have? A scratch on the head.
PHEW.
That was a handful.
Right, the article. By January Nelson (This is a copy paste. Click here for the link)
How do you get someone to fall in love with you? Do you "like" their Facebook statuses? Not too much, of course, because that would seem despearate. But a little bit, sparingly, so they know that you like the things that come out of their brain. Perhaps you can even leave the occasional comment on their Facebook wall so they remember you, they remember that they should love you.
Do you wear a flattering outfit when you go to meet them for coffee? That way you can remind them that you're someone worth seeing naked. (It's all an illusion anyway. How you look naked is completely different from how you look clothed but at that point, a naked body is a naked body. You can always just turn the lights off.) Do I rub your knee unnecessarily like Cosmopolitan once told me to do? Will that turn you on? If you were on the fence about loving me back, would a good knee rub be the thing that pulls you on to my side of the fence?
Do I text you? Do I DM you? Do I tweet @ you? Do I DARE call you? You've called me a few times in the past and I remember feeling so shocked and delighted when I saw your name on the screen. I thought to myself, "This man has balls! He must really like me!" And you do. You do like me. That I know for certain. But I'm not interested in just "like." I'm interested in getting you to love me. I'm interested in breaking through you and making you realize that I'm the one you want. I'm the missing puzzle piece.
There are so many games you can play. Just thinking about the self-imposed rules of dating in our generation is enough to make me weep. Can't I just go up to you and be like, "Hi. I really like you. I feel like I could possibly love you. Do you feel similarly? Blink once for yes and twice for no." Wouldn't it be much faster if I cut the crap and just spoke the truth? Why do I have to let my phone and the internet and the advice from my friends dictate the pace? If I texted you four times in one day, would that really be such an error that you would be turned off of me forever? Is this how fickle our feelings have become for one another, where one false move could be enough to end something that's potentially great?
I guess it is.
So fine. I will do the right things, wear nice clothes, and sat the correct words. And then when I get you, I'll deflate and show you the real me. Gotcha! Now I'm going to text you with reckless abandon. I'm not going to give a sh-t about rubbing your damn knee. I'm going to don sweatpants. YOU WILL SEE MY ASS IN SWEATPANTS. WHAT A GIFT! Because you're mine now and I'm yours and I can stop worrying every single second of every day whether or not I'm ever going to have you.
For the record, I don't care if you call or text me. I won't dock you points for using emoticons or telling me that your favorite band is The Fray. Why would I care? I'm not falling in love with your texting skills or music tastes. I'm falling in love with YOU. Only you. So you don't have to play games (please don't actually).
Be kind. Be open-minded. Give me a chance. Give me your love.
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