Case Numero Uno:
I had been sitting on a major highway, crawling my way home. It was starting to get on my nerves so I decided it was probably better to turn off into an alternative route to get home. So, being the responsible driver I am, I flicked my signal to go and checked if there were any cars. I saw a car coming at a distance and knew I had enough time to make it, so I exited where I was. But somehow, halfway through getting out of that tight space, the guy had sped up and was RIGHT next to my car, honking and making a ruckus. I took a glance and saw his wife starring me down, and him with an angry hand gesture. Whatever, I decided to ignore it because I knew that he sped up on purpose so that he could overtake me before I took the lead (as if one car would make such a big difference), the way a lot of locals do here. Whatever. So he was in front of me, and so happens, we were heading the same route, and hit a traffic light. As there were three lanes, I decided to take the most vacant one and go on my merry way. But, I ended up on the spot right next to his and by then, he had the window on his wife's side down and was yelling in Malay, with more angry hand gestures, telling me to "GO DIE". So you can imagine how I was already feeling since the honking up to the traffic lights: nervous, yet, pumping with so much adrenaline.
My response:
I smiled, the biggest I could, and pulled my my own hand gestures, a peace sign, with my giant peace sign ring facing them.
Case Numero Dos:
I was heading out of work, going home, and decided it wasn't too early to switch into the lane that I needed to be on. So, again, being the responsible driver I was, I flicked my signal, peeked out a little and began edging my way out of the lane. When suddenly this motorcycle started charging at me, honking furiously. Being the motorcyclist he was, he swerved his way around my car, ahead of me, slammed on his breaks with and angry hand gesture, yelled a really loud "OI!", rolled his eyes and sped off.
My response:
He had already sped off, so I just sat there in, not sure if I should be mad, upset, or guilty that this happened.
Case Numero Tres:
On separate incidents, I went out with some people (who hang out in the same clan). First time, it was with A&B. We decided to go watch a movie, and wanted to get some grub before. It was a weekend, so obviously it'd be a busy busy BUSY day anywhere, everywhere. One of our orders included two drinks, long story short, the drinks never came even when we were about to leave. I can understand why it may have slipped, or if the waiter had forgot. I mean, the waiters had to take tables from numerous tables before sending them to the kitchen. On the other hand, I can also get why one would be displeased by the absence of an order. However, what came next was a major shocker. Yep, you prolly guessed it... Someone asked for our drinks, but in the least courteous way; demanding, authoritative, pissed off. Honestly, I don't know why I didn't say something to the person at the time. Instead, I did the total opposite to the waiter, and thanked profusely.
On the second food date with these people with two additions: C&D, we went for brunch. It was a Sunday, but not too busy at the restaurant we occupied. C&D had already been there a little when I got there, with their food orders in. Not long after I arrived, A&B got there. Together, we ordered our brunch. Long story short, the waiters messed up the orders somehow... I guess when three people are giving you orders and constantly changing their orders and trying to make up their minds, I can see how it'd be confusing... This time, C took charge of dealing with the waiters. Now, a little back story of C.. I've known C for a while, and in all our interactions, they've been pleasant: C was generally a great person.. So naturally what occurred at the restaurant left me speechless. C was awfully rude, demanding, and authoritative, paired with frustration and annoyance.
My response:
So new was this that I actually could not speak. DAMN IT KIM. So instead, I let C settle my share of the bill as well. Thanks C. I'm sure you know who you are. I hope you stop being so rude.
Case Numero Cuatro:
It's lunch time, my colleague and I went to get food. The system works like this: you grab a table, have someone sit there/something there to reserve it before someone takes it away from you. Then you go to the counter (there are two guys standing together), you give the first guy your order and the table number, pay at the cashier (this is the 2nd guy with the cash register), and they'll bring the food to you. So I had my colleague sit there while I ordered the food. It had been a while since my last visit, so I forgot about the table number, and had to kinda slide a little out of the line to check my table number. Then, as I did that, the lady behind me figured it was a good time for her to swerve around me and jump in front of me to pay for two packets of take away items.
My response:
I waited till she was done paying, and tapped her on the shoulder. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Hi aunty, I know you're in a hurry, we all are, but its not very nice to jump queue la..
Her: Yeah, I know. But I'm only over there (pointed at her table) and I only needed to buy this very quickly.
Me: Yes, aunty, I know, but next time, don't jump queue la, it's not very nice...
Her: Yes, I know. Do you want this? Just take this la.
Me: Aunty, it's okay, that's not the point. Next time, just don't do it again okay?
Her: Yes. Next time. Just keep it to yourself!
Honestly. When I think about it, I'm starting to ask myself if I was like this before I left the country. I probably was. Demanding and shit, especially at eateries. Shit, never again.
Since the 3rd incident, I promised myself, never, ever, ever again will I sit aside and watch injustice happen. And to whoever is reading this, I hope you too stand up for injustice, whether it's as simple as telling an "adult" that she should line up, or if it is throwing up peace signs at rude drivers, or even standing up against your friends for the way they're treating an inferior. Do it. Many of us, myself included, have lived in the shadows of others, brushing things off, saying "it's okay, they're like that", when we know deep down it's unethical and completely rude. So I hope all of you reading this, will join me in standing up and spreading the message. And by that, I also mean that you deal with the situations with maturity, with respect, to raise neither your voice, nor your fists no matter what the person does.
I hope your 2014 rings in more joy, garners in more respect, and that all those beautiful wishes come true. It's a new year, new me, and I hope, a new you too.
Love,
Kim.
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