You know how my dog bites my shoes in all her puppy frustration and I would get mad at her, but only for the moment? After she gives me her puppy eyes I melt once again in guilt and it's instant forgiveness. I sometimes wonder if that's how my parents feel when they were raising us.
Were they the kinds to let it go because I was genuinely crying in apology or if they stuck it out to really teach me a lesson?
I've already let go of the fact that I've been hurt repeatedly in such a short period of time. I've come to terms with the fact that what's done is now done. And my urge to say something to you is so immense, it's a menial task. I've forgotten about the anger, but despite it all, what I still feel most is the pain.
It's like the fully rounded pupils of my dog when she bats her puppy eyes at me in apology. My heart's already melted and ready for things to go to the next point, where you're nurturing me back to health when I'm sick. Like how my dog and I play ball after I've forgiven her for chewing through my expensive slipper. The only difference is, I don't see it, and there is no apology. Neither is there a play ball, where we get to go out, explore, or just stay in and cuddle in bed as I watch some though provoking movie and you fall asleep, again.
It already feels like a year has passed since that last happened.
So,
Did they let it go, or stuck it out to really teach me a lesson?
They chose the latter.
I've also learnt to see the valor in the latter but I also want the lesson to be over already.
No comments:
Post a Comment