In my experience, culture has been a big influence on why I would refuse compliments. Perhaps many can relate when I say that we've been taught to deny compliments as a reflection of humility.
And while having been surrounded by people who not only encouraged me take the compliment, I've had the great many fortune to understand how and why people say thank you for the compliments they have received.
For starters, there is no shame in claiming a compliment.
Even if you may not think that it fits you.
Unless you've been mistaken for another person, then it's another story.
But. Here's how I see it..
When someone compliments me on a certain thing I do I take
pride in the progress I’ve made to obtain that certain skill that they are
complimenting me for.
When someone compliments us, they’ve become aware that
something we do is praise worthy. They’ve unconsciously acknowledged the
process in which it took for the opposite party to obtain the skill/ability;
thus resulting in the compliment.
Take for example my English. I had picked it up naturally by
interacting with my parents and the characters of Sesame Street through my
computer screen.
It’s not any said conscious effort on my part, but my
parents had religiously placed in in front of the TV when those shows were
playing. So when I graciously accept the compliment with my “thank you”, I am
honoring the work they’ve put in to help me learn English.
One could deject and say that this doesn’t apply to having
good looks and stuff, so we have to be humble about it. Well, technically, it
is applicable. The beauty industry profits off of the idea that we can all look
gorgeous; feeding into the fact that something as minute as a single pimple can
throw off a person’s day. We spend no small sum in “putting on our faces”, be
it in make up, or beauty regime, to having a balanced diet, exercise, or combination of things.
Whether or not we are aware or acknowledge our efforts, someone has.
So my question is: why do we deject the positivity that others shed on us?
It matters not whether the compliment had been sincere. If it be insincere, even better. Because by accepting the compliment, we're indirectly expressing ourselves, we're acknowledging our own thoughts, effort, and abilities.
By accepting the compliment, and giving thanks, we're doing a few things:
- We're honoring all our efforts, no matter how small.
- We're honoring the people behind our actions, those who have entrusted faith, and effort in us
- We're reminding ourselves that we have been, and are able individuals, capable of achieving just about anything we wish to accomplish
- In return, we're continuing our very own legacy, even if it may not mean anything to some (cuz let's be real, there WILL be haters no matter what we do)
- Even if it does not take effect immediately, we are encouraging the complimenter to continue their own fight, and to continue the good work of bringing positivity to others by recognizing their opinions about us
There are many people I know that feel it important to be humble be refusing a compliment. While I do understand that stance, I strongly believe that it is by accepting the compliment that we continue to grow, to learn, and to constantly improve ourselves.
We accept the compliment as a little reward for accomplishing a level of success. Moving on, there is more that the world has to offer for us to grab; time to go!
Note:
There is a difference in accepting the compliment & being cocky about it. Constantly harping on the compliment does more harm than good in the long run. This, because cockiness only leaves us in a space of complacency & comfort.
Again...
We accept the compliment as a little reward for accomplishing a level of success. Moving on, there is more that the world has to offer for us to grab; time to go!
So take the compliment, say your thanks (with sincerity), and I promise you, the world will slowly start to feel a lot lighter & brighter.
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