Small Victories

My parents once told me that when I was learning how to write, I started out as a lefty and then some how somewhere along the lines I became a righty. It's pretty interesting because one of the early memories I had as a child was my hands having personas. And my right hand felt really annoyed and tired because it had to write and practically do everything.

So since I was a senior in college, I had started getting into the groove of using my left hand, starting with drawing class. But it wasn't till 2 years ago, when I was dating this lefty that I really wanted to be able to write with my left hand.
So for about... a year now (after seeing my ambidextrous colleague write cursive with her left hand and then also do so naturally with her right hand), I've been training my left hand in an effort to be ambidextrous. So far, one thing that feels like second nature now is actually brushing my teeth. I've also gotten good with doing the dishes and needs more work on buttoning with only my left hand but on and off, I would also write with my left hand. Usually the words would be the size of a dinosaur egg that looks like a toddler's handwriting. But today, I wrote a full paragraph of my essay with my left hand. It's still a bit of a struggle but I've managed to reduce my words to a decent size, and at a speed the Kim last year would be really envious of.

It definitely still leave much more to be desired but I am really happy with the improvement I've made so far.

Child Unrushed.

I've had fried chicken twice this week.
I think it's time for me to workout.

Interestingly enough tho, I've also been able to study a little more this weekend which was nice.
I even made breakfast this morning with my home grown plants.. Uh... again I forgot the photos but I made:

1. Fried mushrooms with onions, garlic and rosemary
2. Omelette with roasted peppers
3. Potato wedges with dill 
4. Cucumber and Wakame salad in sesame oil, lemon juice, and soy sauce

It was so nice to have woken up at a good hour of the day and make food without having to worry about rushing to some place... It was nice to actually use all of my kitchen in it's fullest capacity and to just enjoy the yummy food I made for myself.

I also briefly checked out the bazaar that was going on in my area and saw the Hanbok (traditional Korean outfit) inspired dress that I had been eyeing for a REALLY long time. Sidenote, you know how they say that if you sleep on the potential purchase and still REALLY want it for a really long time, then you should get it? It's funny cause I was recently (as in a couple days ago) thinking to myself that I should get the dress if I see it again. So when I saw it today, I got to try it on.

AND!

I ended up walking away from it. 

One, it wasn't cheap. It was 99,000won which is about $95 and

Second, not only was it a little tight around my elbows BUT

Third, it was a little shorter around the shoulders (granted I did have a T-shirt on but it really shouldn't be THAT significant of a difference. 

Fourth, the lady says she only makes clothes in ONE size.

Fifth, it was 99,000won.. wait, I already said that. BUT seriously

WHUT

What a shame.

Even after so long of not being able to sell it, she still wouldn't part with it at a lower price.

(I actually had fallen in love with it in once in July-ish, then again in November, and then today was just a little disappointing)

But anyway, I came home tonight after studying & finishing half my essay, to this and man... I got goosebumps. 

Not sure bout you but me gots some major goosebumps

DAMN.

Enough bout me tho, how was YOUR weekend?

hi. how was your week(end)? Good, I hope. 

How do I?

My emotions have been up and down recently due to a variety of things going on.

I've also been challenging myself to link myself to positive things and in doing so, feed away from the less pleasant emotions that have been gently biting at my heart.


So if you are new here and have not been reading my previous posts, I was broken up with a few months ago. I shall spare you the details and instead just go straight to the point. I was broken up with because essentially, I wasn't the person of choice.

Now, with that said, I wasn't always the most honest person with my emotions either.
As a result, myself asking myself if I should or shouldn't let go of this person was what I kinda battled with until I unexpectedly got a goodbye.

To which after, I just became ridden with regret. 

But with all that said and done, I'm not gonna lie but I hate being the one who breaks up with the person so I wait to be broken up with.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, and I'm still trying to come to terms with the way my emotions and psyche deals with relationships. And of late, it's made me more observant of other couples while being a little more impatient of my own character.


So going to the title, as you can see, is my question of How Do I?
How do I deal with this? I feel like such an amateur rookie it's not fun :(

Win Win Liao?

Today was pretty productive work wise.

It was the day post exams and so it was slightly more chill. Needless to say, I had fun in class.
After class, I made a delicious lunch of which I took no photos of but I shall describe it to you:

Lunch:
Fish fried in non spicy chilies, tempoyak, and mom's homemade sambal (THANK YOU MOMMA).
I also had beef broth marinated in some leftover kimchi.

&

for Dinner:
Squash, carrots, onions cubed, fried with sesame oil and salt over hot rice. Again, no photos cuz I was FAMISHED.

Then I went to a cafe, sat myself down and worked on my script for work tomorrow. The research was not as time consuming but trying to arrange my thought was insanely time consuming. Yesterday during my speaking test, the teacher who has been my teacher since last semester told me that my biggest problem with writing in Korean (granted prolly English too) is that I have TOO many things going on in my head. I'm just constantly expanding on my thoughts. I swear. Just one thing. ONE thing, the moment my brain latches onto it, it's full throttle. Imagine a giant oak tree of thoughts growing on steroids. HAHA. SO that was that.

But then as usual when I send out my regular daily thoughts to my Whatsapp buds, I got into a discussion with a friend which to me kinda just branched all over the place. As I just mentioned above, my thoughts are all over the place and so in the process of organizing it, I just end up sticking to the original topic, basically leaving the discussion hanging (I'm now starting to see a not-so-flattering trend in my life). So yeah, my friend let me win the discussion and I felt like ass afterwards. No, not the soft round bum, but the adjective you use to describe people who are the equivalent to the bi-product that exits said body part. Because...

is a term used when the human you're having a discussion with is egoistic and always wants to win the discussion. *points at self & grins nervously*

how are you doing today? I kinda miss having you as my mealtime buddy... ):

WHUT.

In full exam mode today and tomorrow.

Current status: Exams.

Current mode: Have to Study

Current mood:

Had a really eventful weekend and I'm a little bit at the point where I kinda just.. don't care.

I also got a haircut.
More to be revealed on my Instagram soon ;)

But tomorrow is speaking & listening. So I'm gonna turn my ears to the CD now.

Good night world. 

Good night to you especially. 

Happy Black Day

Day 29

I've been listening to some early 2010 mixes and wondering why time has passed by so slowly. It feels like forever since when it's not even been a full month...

Today in the spirit of Black Day (basically a day for single individuals to celebrate with the consumption of some very delectable Black Bean Noodles) I did just that.

I also downed 2 cups of coffee, was still insanely sleepy, but pulled through work & bought some herbs that I've been wanting to buy.

that's my friend's tea, but the other cup came later haha

Mint, Basil, Rosemary & Dill 

I also managed some Chia Seed + lemon water for the daily quench... But barely consumed water so now I'm feeling pretty dehydrated especially with the not-so-good air quality these days. Exams are next week though. Not only do I feel unprepared, but I am going to a concert this weekend to film for the film contest my school is holding. I'm getting pretty pumped yet am riddled with fear of how it wouldn't turn out.. hehe. Oh well. Gotta give it my best shot right?

why you have to go and make me like you? 

To Lifelong Travel Partners!

A friend and I were talking about marriage.

She's recently married and I...

I think I would like to get married many a times. The novelty of getting married from the cakes, the gifts, the reunion of people for a special occasion, the food, cake, and OMG the dress(!) are the sole reasons why I want to get married.

Yes Kim, they're called weddings. 

Something that she said kinda hit me though...

You know how people say "if you wanna know if the person is right for you, you travel with them"? The reason why they say that is because when you travel with someone, you come to learn about the person. Their true colors, specifically. Everything from their habits, their responses, to their pet peeves.

My friend said "marrying another person is like having a travel companion. A lifelong travel companion."

That really hit me because my parents are now in the phase where they're travelling the world, seeing things before they become too weak to walk. On their trips, they'll send photos of them to our group chats and they always look so fantastically joyful in them. Granted, we've also been travelling since I can remember, and plus, they met abroad. That... they've been "married" since even before they signed the papers... so to speak. And they're really happy together.

In the past, I've had some not-so-great and some pretty nice travel ventures with people. While some ended in a sour note, I've had some that were pretty damn great. Well. Sorta. To be honest, I've not travelled with enough people to say so. But the last time I travelled somewhere with someone (who wasn't my parents), I was in a crappy mood because we missed the train due to my tardiness. But the person who I was travelling with was such an angel and took very good care of me.

Travelling with parents is also another stressful thing (especially when they rely on you for translation), but more on that another time.

If marriage was as simple as just having "that lifelong travel partner", then I'd love to get married. Though if that really were the case, I would be much willing to give up on the novelty of a wedding and just use the money to go explore new territory.

With that said...

Be Mine? 

HA. Psych. I clearly have a longer way to go in terms of getting myself off the ground, and in a direction where I'm at absolute peace with myself before someone's inner peace can vibe with mine and would be willing to travel with me. Though some new stuff is in the midst of happening, where I travel and talk about it on video. So do stay tuned for more on that!