How do I?

My emotions have been up and down recently due to a variety of things going on.

I've also been challenging myself to link myself to positive things and in doing so, feed away from the less pleasant emotions that have been gently biting at my heart.


So if you are new here and have not been reading my previous posts, I was broken up with a few months ago. I shall spare you the details and instead just go straight to the point. I was broken up with because essentially, I wasn't the person of choice.

Now, with that said, I wasn't always the most honest person with my emotions either.
As a result, myself asking myself if I should or shouldn't let go of this person was what I kinda battled with until I unexpectedly got a goodbye.

To which after, I just became ridden with regret. 

But with all that said and done, I'm not gonna lie but I hate being the one who breaks up with the person so I wait to be broken up with.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, and I'm still trying to come to terms with the way my emotions and psyche deals with relationships. And of late, it's made me more observant of other couples while being a little more impatient of my own character.


So going to the title, as you can see, is my question of How Do I?
How do I deal with this? I feel like such an amateur rookie it's not fun :(