Excuse Me While I Work Things Out

Three or four weeks?
Has it been?

I have been running from city to city, country to country, packing, unpacking, struggling, challenging.
I've been smiling, crying, laughing, and tearing
After being showered with a fair amount of love, hatred, hugs, and angry slurs,
Finally, I am home once again.

After drafts and drafts of stuff that are sitting in my Microsoft Word,
I've decided that none of it is worthy of the cut.
I'm sorry.

So I'm typing this, I'm propped against the mountain
A mixture of clothes, memorabilia, books, and CDs
I found myself a quote that is helping me get through this really mentally & emotionally confusing transitional period.

"Strength is happiness. Strength is itself victory.
In weakness and cowardice there is no happiness.
When you wage a struggle, you might win or you might lose.
But regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact that you're continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being"

Excuse the absence, I will do my best to keep up the weekly posts.
For those of you who are also in some transitional period, know that there are a ton of people who are also in the same predicament. So keep going, and do what you can. But more importantly, enjoy the moments, no matter how sour, sweet, both, or anything in between.

Menstrual Cups & I

This topic concerns not only those who bleed through their vaginas every month (women), but also those whose lives involve those individuals who do (men). Basically, this is an important talk that involves everyone, even if you think it's unrelated to you.

So read on:

Pads.

They seem to be everywhere.

They’re stuck in toilets, on the little corner of the bathroom cubicle, on the beach waiting unsuspecting beach-goers.. People can’t seem to get rid of them fast enough.

Yet they still continue to bombard us at the mall, on the tele, and on a giant pyramid at the supermarket.

Nowadays, there are so many varieties to choose from:

Perfume pads, herbal pads, organic cotton pads, astronaut suit material pads..

Companies are becoming more and more creative in how they can market their products.

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Heck, before leaving Korea, I watched as people pack bag after bag of the herbal pads (if I’m not mistaken) that seem to have caught the attention of many in Asia.

Tampons.
Invented by a man, comes in paper, or plastic holders, under another protective layer of plastic,
to be stuffed up your baby making machine, with claims of being useful for those who enjoy yoga, swimming, and "freedom". When really, those who use tampons have to be wary of the fact that they have to change their tampon every 4 hours.

But what they, or any company that has a marketing ploy to maximize profits does not tell is the harm that these commercialized products bring. Articles upon articles have flooded social media and the interwebs about the dangers of sanitary napkins; toxic shock syndrome, infections, harmful toxins that seep into the sea & soil to name a few. Google it.




Being aware of my body's reactions to tampons and overcome by my frustrations from the environmental impacts these sanitary products had, the universe had impeccable timing...

Thus about two years ago, I began my journey on Kickstarter after having observed lots of people around me buy some pretty cool stuff. One thing that caught my attention was the Lily Cup Compact. The company was creating a Kickstarter campaign at the time to release their foldable menstrual cup, as a means of helping women who are constantly on the go to reduce bulk in their bags. Taken by the entire thing, I decided to do more research into the products that was on the market. I started off with looking up videos about menstrual cups, how to use them, and people's thought on it. I mostly watched YouTube videos to get insight to understanding this alternative to pads and tampons.

Up until the time I began using my menstrual cup, I had been using sanitary pads that I felt left the least residue. I generally frayed away from using tampons as I found that my body had been rejecting them each time I did use them (my body felt tremendously uncomfortable - not because I didn't stick them in correctly from the idea of knowing that there were so much chemicals involved in the manufacturing of tampons). Thus it was a no brainer for me to make the switch to menstrual cups. It was not a small sum of investment but I will say that it was most definitely worth every single penny (cuz I purchased it in USD. HA!)

menstrual cups

drawn on a plane with no reference 

& NOT to scale

My first investment was the Lily Cup Compact, and the original Lily Cup. I won't lie, the first few times using it was rather tricky but now, almost two years in, I have to say that I've definitely gotten the hang of it. While my selection of menstrual cups has been limited to one (really, you only need one for at least the next 10 years), I will say that I know a handful of people around me who can vouch for the Diva Cup.

So what is the damn hype about?
Well the menstrual cup has a variety of benefits:

1. It is inserted into the vagina and holds up to 12 hours of menstruation
2. Unlike tampons and pads, the menstrual cup does not to be replaced every 4 hours
3. Because this product can be reused, it significantly reduces waste that occurs from the usage of commercial sanitary pads & tampons
4. It is washable & free of toxins & harmful chemicals that cause Toxic Shock Syndrome/chemical leakages into the soil, seas, and water supply
5. It is made of high grade silicone, neither plastic nor other materials that can be potentially harmful to the body or the environment

As a satisfied customer of the menstrual cup (it fulfilled the many requirements I had for menstrual products), I would like to start a mini campaign for the women in Malaysia & Korea who are reading this:
I am currently in the country where the aforementioned menstrual cups are sold. I am offering to buy up to a total of 10 menstrual cups of your choice (one per person) that fits the above requirements and will be more than happy to bring them to you at no extra cost.
As an advocate of the use of a safer, cleaner, and more environmental friendly menstrual product, it would be my honor and pleasure to bring these products to those who are also looking for an easier & environmentally conscious alternative to plastic & toxic waste.

Based on my very rough calculations, a woman in Malaysia spends on average RM120-RM150 (the cheapest) a year on sanitary pads plus a ton of headaches and worries of staining their clothes and bedsheets.

What if I told you you only have to spend that amount for a total of 10 years?
A fantastic trade off if you ask me.

So if you're finding ways to have more money in the future for that dream travel, or to save up for that car you've been planning for, I'd be more than happy to help. As my luggage space is limited, I can only offer to bring back 10 of these badasses. So if you're interested, drop me a PM on Instagram @kimberleyknhe and we can work something out ;)

Accepting Compliments & Saying Thank You

Accepting compliments with a simple thank you seems to be a pretty difficult thing to do for many.

In my experience, culture has been a big influence on why I would refuse compliments. Perhaps many can relate when I say that we've been taught to deny compliments as a reflection of humility. 

And while having been surrounded by people who not only encouraged me take the compliment, I've had the great many fortune to understand how and why people say thank you for the compliments they have received. 

For starters, there is no shame in claiming a compliment. 

Even if you may not think that it fits you. 

Unless you've been mistaken for another person, then it's another story.  

But. Here's how I see it..

When someone compliments me on a certain thing I do I take pride in the progress I’ve made to obtain that certain skill that they are complimenting me for.

When someone compliments us, they’ve become aware that something we do is praise worthy. They’ve unconsciously acknowledged the process in which it took for the opposite party to obtain the skill/ability; thus resulting in the compliment.

Take for example my English. I had picked it up naturally by interacting with my parents and the characters of Sesame Street through my computer screen.

It’s not any said conscious effort on my part, but my parents had religiously placed in in front of the TV when those shows were playing. So when I graciously accept the compliment with my “thank you”, I am honoring the work they’ve put in to help me learn English.

One could deject and say that this doesn’t apply to having good looks and stuff, so we have to be humble about it. Well, technically, it is applicable. The beauty industry profits off of the idea that we can all look gorgeous; feeding into the fact that something as minute as a single pimple can throw off a person’s day. We spend no small sum in “putting on our faces”, be it in make up, or beauty regime, to having a balanced diet, exercise, or combination of things. 

Whether or not we are aware or acknowledge our efforts, someone has. 

So my question is: why do we deject the positivity that others shed on us? 

It matters not whether the compliment had been sincere. If it be insincere, even better. Because by accepting the compliment, we're indirectly expressing ourselves, we're acknowledging our own thoughts, effort, and abilities. 

By accepting the compliment, and giving thanks, we're doing a few things:

1. We're honoring all our efforts, no matter how small.
2. We're honoring the people behind our actions, those who have entrusted faith, and effort in us 
3. We're reminding ourselves that we have been, and are able individuals, capable of achieving just about anything we wish to accomplish
4. In return, we're continuing our very own legacy, even if it may not mean anything to some (cuz let's be real, there WILL be haters no matter what we do) 
5. Even if it does not take effect immediately, we are encouraging the complimenter to continue their own fight, and to continue the good work of bringing positivity to others by recognizing their opinions about us

There are many people I know that feel it important to be humble be refusing a compliment. While I do understand that stance, I strongly believe that it is by accepting the compliment that we continue to grow, to learn, and to constantly improve ourselves. 

We accept the compliment as a little reward for accomplishing a level of success. Moving on, there is more that the world has to offer for us to grab; time to go! 

Note:

There is a difference in accepting the compliment & being cocky about it. Constantly harping on the compliment does more harm than good in the long run. This, because cockiness only leaves us in a space of complacency & comfort. 

Again...

We accept the compliment as a little reward for accomplishing a level of success. Moving on, there is more that the world has to offer for us to grab; time to go! 

So take the compliment, say your thanks (with sincerity), and I promise you, the world will slowly start to feel a lot lighter & brighter. 

Understanding Public Space (My Take on "Smoking Areas")

For those of you who don't really know me, I have an avid love for sitting in open spaces.
Despite the heat, I much prefer outdoor seating. Unless it is unbearable, I will usually avoid air conditioned rooms and opt for the more eco-friendly options.

This stems from a variety of reasons:

Uno:
I don't like having to freeze my fingers in Malaysian weather. It don't make sense when it should be a no brainer that being in Malaysia entails the tropical weather that does not involve turning my fingers to icicles. No Elsas required here.

Dos:
I like the fresh air. When breezes come by, I'm appreciative. If it rains, even better. Out in the open sans recycled air, I can't help but feel more responsible to take care of the planet.

Tres:
I like to people watch. By sitting outside, I get to take in my surroundings, be it the calm hustle of the vehicles, the interaction of people that could inspire my next neuro connection, or just to zone out in daydream, watching static drives me mad.

Quatro:
No sound reverberation. Therefore, no catching unwanted attention from conversations I'm having with whoever is with me.

But unfortunately for me, I find myself in a unpleasant place when I become the recipient of second hand smoke. Despite having picked up smoking for a very short-lived time span, I always saw to it that I would keep my smoke away from others. And in the occasions that I wanted to smoke, I'd look around (and even up when I am in close vicinity to higher buildings with open windows) to stand in a way that will not affect unsuspecting second hand smoker victims.

My smoking days are long gone, but since, I've become even more sensitive to cigarette smoke. This fact comes as rather surprising taking into account that one of my favorite places to go when in Korea was a nightclub, where everyone was like a waking chimney, spewing clouds of evaporated ash in my face and into my lungs. Funnier, is the fact that I ended up gaining employment at said club.

Working there was pretty cool. I must say the experience has been invaluable to me to say the least, but walking home at wee hours in the morning in a thick coat of smoke is one thing. Despite the delectable smelling shampoo conditioner combo, my hair post shower still smells strongly of smoke is another. 

So it goes without saying that I am not a fan of second hand smoke. Beyond that, is when I take a seat on an outdoor setting, only to see waves of humans coming next to me and exhaling second hand smoke. It's not the smoking I have a problem with. It is the direction in which the exhaled smoke goes.. in the general direction of my face.

In many occasions when I am vocal about it with my friends who are sitting outside with me, they tell me something around the lines of..

Kim, the outside IS smoking area. 

While yes, lots of people do go outside to enjoy a smoke because most people prefer sitting on the inside where the air-conditioning in the heat, there is a small but present handful of people that ARE outside enjoying the non air-conditioned indoors.

Being on the outside, be it on a beautiful veranda of a cafe, or at a high table at the entrance facing the main road, outside space is meant to be shared. Whether or not you're smoking, it's a public space to be used by all. I like to equate getting undesired second hand smoke in my face (as a result of choosing outdoor seating) with a stranger asking your personal questions in your face out of no where. Take for example, you're outside, waiting for a friend to arrive, or having a really intimate moment of listening to your friend pour their upset heart out, when suddenly, a random person comes up to your ears, and starts asking your personal questions. Granted, smoke not as intense. However, to those who do not smoke for various, valid reasons, but being given an unrequested and unwelcome gesture can get under one's skin. Especially when it keeps happening in various places in one day.

I believe that we're all aware of the dangers of smoking, and those who still do so have their reasoning. Thus, I do not condemn those who do. (Though frankly, I do wish that they re-evaluate their choice. As the health effects of smoking will in turn bring a lot of pain to those they love, I do hope that they'll re-evaluate the worth of smoking.) However, I think it's important that those who do are considerate of the people who also want to enjoy the open without the scent of recycled cigarette smoke.

Update: #TurkishAirlinesSaveSomalia

So a couple posts ago, I talked about how famous social media funny man Jerome Jarre posted a video to start a campaign to get supplies to Somalia.

What happened?

A six-year old girl died from dehydration after walking 150 kilometers in search of water with her mother.

Enraged by that situation, he started a campaign with #TurkishAirlinesSaveSomalia.

A handful of celebs have come forth in support of the campaign.

And….

YAY!

Turkish Airlines has come forth with a pledge!

On March 27^th, their GoFundMe page raised a hefty sum of donations and have already started their shipment of both passengers and 60 tonnes of food which include rice, cooking oil, porridge (I am guessing the oatmeal kind), nutritional biscuits, flour, and sugar. They’ve also promised that they will not stop at just that.

On the GoFundMe page is an excited exclamation

Not only they are making available a full cargo flight that can fly 60 TONS OF FOOD, but they agreed to let us ship food containers on their commercial aircraft to Somalia, UNTIL THE END OF THE FAMINE !!!

Jerome Jarre has also offered thanks to every single person who donated.

INTERNET YOU DID IT !!! 💪

WE HAVE AN AIRPLANE & WE HAVE FOOD !!!

WHAT IF WE COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING?

➡️ #NominatedForSomalia 🚨 pic.twitter.com/lIDq5geWV9

— JÉRÔME JARRE (@jeromejarre) March 19, 2017

Actor Ben Stiller has also offered his charity StillerFoundation to manage the funds, and also to ensure transparency of the funds.

Ah, humanity has been restored.. just a little. 

Have a fantabulous weekend guys! 

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What YouTube's Restricted Access Has Taught Me

Not too long ago, YouTube created a Restricted Mode with aims of limiting child access to certain videos has caused an uproar.
A good friend and LGBTQIA+ YouTuber posted on their Instagram about the restriction and was definitely displeased about the news. As an advocate, ally, and member of the community, they were upset that YouTube made the decision to restrict their videos to not only those within the community, but as a means of creating dialogue with those who have varying understanding of the community, and to educate and encourage those who are struggling with their own understanding about themselves.

Lots of content creators have found their content unrightfully removed; videos that educate/ help were taken down to appease some,

while those that have innuendos were not..

(Singer sisters Tegan & Sara put it so poignantly...)

It comes with no surprise to say the least, that the huge uproar has resulted in YouTube coming forward with new statements regarding the issue:

"We recognise that some videos are incorrectly labelled by our automated system and we realise it's very important to get this right. We're working hard to make some improvements"

So it got me thinking 

about censorship, especially in Malaysia where I am now located, and have spent most of my living breathing life in..
In retrospect, listening to the radio (which consisted solely of English radio broadcasts), most of what comes to mind is a lot of mainstream music that would blare on the speakers of the car speakers. And there would be some songs that I would sing and then somewhere somehow when a specific word was originally in that song, would be just the sound of..

BLANK.

Those in Malaysia would know what I mean. You'd be listening to a song and then mid verse, a pause where a word is supposed to be. Sometimes if there are a few, you'd just hear pauses one after another.
So teenage me would go...

"I kissed a *blank* and I liked iiiiit. Taste of her cherry chapstickkkkk"

Ah, naivette times.

Anyway, back on topic.. from my memory, anything related to sex or anything "abnormal" including anything LGBT related, or profanities, would be blanked out like that. Then, as time went by, something as simple as "Hail Mary" and "Jesus" would be blanked. I've not heard the word "Buddha" get censored thus far, but I'm curious to see if that would happen.
Since my return from Korea, I've had the privilege of listening to songs that have been warped into some funky inaudible language with the aim of censoring profanities/vulgarities.

ONE:

Censoring is one way of preventing the youth from the misuse of profanities, bullying, and violent behavior. But in my opinion, it does nothing to actually ensure the prevention of disrespectful/degrading behavior. Quality education and upbringing is. This takes me back to a conversation I once had with my neighbor about using profanities. He told me that profanities when used appropriately, can help further emphasize the meaning of what is being said.

Example:

I'm so hungry.

I'm so fucking hungry. 

He told me that as a kid, his dad had explained to him that profanities are also part of one's vocabulary. They are alright when used to accurately reflect one's thoughts, that he could use it ANYTIME. Except for one: on others. If used to degrade someone else, then the meaning has been misused and misunderstood.

Going back to the issue of LGBTQ censorship, I don't think that YouTube made right by creating the censorship. What I think should be corrected is the way we educate our children, to teach acceptance, respect, and love. Not to preach discrimination, anger, violence, and hate.

Looking at the education I had growing up (in Malaysia), our education system still has a long long way to go. If Moral Studies involves children and teens WRITING DOWN the CORRECT moral "value" of a situation, while forcing students of varying faiths to eat in the bathrooms, away from those who are fasting, then we are preventing our own growth and progress through oppression and censorship.

In sum: a quality education is one where the learner is taught how to be critical on themselves, and not projecting one's negativity on others


TWO:

Censorship to a certain extent is healthy. Especially when it comes to shielding sexual activities such as pornography from young children. As children, they should do what one does in childhood. That is to play, interact, and see the world through play, experience, and exploration. Getting out and about, in the fields, mud, planes, boats, playgrounds. Through their exploration is where they will have questions, where we, those with our unique experiences as grown ups, shed light through our own experiences.

LGBTQIA+ videos for the most part are made with the hopes of providing guidance, encouragement, and support to those who have questions. Regardless if you're in or out of the community. Their aims are never to place harm on others. Granted, there ARE a small handful who do not do so, but even those do not deserve censorship. Not only because there should be freedom of speech, but also to create a hate speech dialogue to build each other up.

In sum: Let children do what they do best, have fun. Censorship can be healthy if it gives children the space to go out and learn through interaction and exploration, to prep them for life, not to control and oppress.




As an avid user of YouTube, as I am sure many of us are, I am disappointed to say the least at YouTube's decision. But I am also hopeful that we can all come out and voice our frustration that is respectful and one that encourages us to take a step back to listen and to be listened to. As for the radio waves here in my home country, I also think that we should start rethinking the meaning of censorship and the roles we play as a society and a community.

Are we teaching children to think, or have we become numb to the "education" that aims to teach us how to obey and memorize moral values instead of applying them in our daily lives?

#TurkishAirlinesSaveSomalia

Often times, I watch the media and the kinds of atrocities that happen, but for some reason, I always can't help but feel helpless, for there isn't something I can do that will provide immediate & full relief to those affected.

But this morning when I woke up and was flipping through Instagram, I saw this one post with the hashtag #TurkishAirlinesHelpSomalia and I was wondering what it was. So I Googled it, here was what I found:

As of this morning, nothing was up..

I had to get out of bed so I shrugged and went about my day.
Then in my effort to procrastinate, I went through a group on FB for travelers and landed on this video:

For those of you who are kinda lazy to watch it, it's by one of the most well known humans on the interweb, Jerome Jarre. In this video, he's speaking in French, clearly upset.

He's talking about how a friend of his sent him a video of a little girl who was dying of dehydration after having to walk 90 miles for water. After expressing his disbelief at the situation, he goes on to talk about how this issue can be easily resolved:

Using an airlines to fly all the food and water to Somalia.

He mentions that everyone is on social media, from food corporations, drink corporations, to airlines. So he suggested that we all play a role and fill up the planes with food supplies to Somalia. 

He then explained that Turkish Airlines is ONE airlines that flies there, and invited everyone to get Turkish Airlines to respond with an answer. So when I started this post, I looked it up again and it seems like things have changed.

this looks promising.

Even Ben Stiller has shown his support 

It's cool to see that people are posting these hashtags, and I see lots of people sending out tons of ideas. Someone also said "why don't we buy out the seats and just fill them with food?" I think it's a cool idea and I'm excited for that to happen. 

The reason why I'm talking about this is because I'm reminded of something my father once told me about lending money. Lots of people will ask you for money, but don't give them money. Instead, ask them if they're hungry and buy/make them food. 

Thus why I'm talking about it and want to do something about it. 

I've done my hashtag #TurkishAirlinesSaveSomalia here and want to encourage you to do the same, on all of your social media. 

Throw in ways that you think will be inclusive of all donors & donations, the airlines, and most importantly those deprived of human's most basic needs.