10 Secrets

1. Sometimes, I don't know why I'm still here. It beats me that I'm still here, struggling and fighting.

2. I wish that I could turn back time and erase some things in my life.
3. I sometimes would like to act upon impulse but I've never been strong enough to tell myself that I'm able to deal with whatever that comes later.
4. I sometimes sit and just wait. Wait for things to happen, the simplest things from getting a greeting to having someone walk up to me just cause they care enough
5. Many times, I feel so isolated that all I wanna do is pack up and go home.
6. I would really like a lot of things to change without me having to change who I am cause I am who I am but people don't seem to see it.
7. I wish that I was actually given the opportunity to pursue skating in Russia like I was promised and
8. That I actually said yes when my dad asked me if I wanted to quit school and just skate.
9. I often wondered how different things would be now if I had not come here. I do this A LOT.
10. I always think about how I want things to be. Like, how it would feel like if things went this way and if I was doing this or if I did that, how the outcome would be. I take forever to decide because I usually fear a bad outcome. I've been so impulsive over the years its made me suffer. So now, I've decided to think think THINK.