Short Thanks.

Since early February, there had been a pretty bad strain on my health from various sources of stress including mental and physical ones which could also stem from my body being in unfamiliar territory & weather.
My migraines have reached a whole new level, and I seem to be a little more prone to small illnesses.

Why is this important you ask?

Well, I'm not trying to gain pity. Its actually related to what I'm about to talk about below. So, my parents may not agree with this work preference but I have wanted to work at a club. For various reasons but the one reason was to just gain some experience and see how it's like first hand.
Lucky for me, the opportunity came about in an ad seeking part timers for the club and of course I jumped at it. I got to meet one of the owners and was really glad to see how nice they were in wanting to hire a foreigner.

So I got the job and was about to start my first shift this Saturday. I would work from 7.30pm-5.30am which I couldnt oppose because I could party that long anyway so NBD. But as things would have it, I came to see that it wouldn't work out as well as I thought it would. If you read my post about why I deactivated Facebook, you'll know that a bunch of stuff's been going on in my life. It was around that time that I was really struggling emotionally, mentally, in someways financially, and more importantly physically. My health was taking a beating even though it's no longer winter.

Not only was that the case, but I also saw that I didn't really have the sufficient amount of time to really focus on my most important task of the moment: my classes. I was quickly falling behind, and with another migraine in check, I had to call a day off from school to give my body the rest it needed. That one day set me back even more.

And so after long consideration and thinking it over for 2 weeks, I told my soon-to-be boss that I decided to take back my offer to work for them because of my health. Its quite disappointing to do because I not only really wanted to work there but I usually see to it that I complete whatever it is I set out to do. Today during my break time I got a message from the owner telling me not to worry and that she hopes to see me again soon. Not gonna lie, but that message actually made me feel a little better, and slightly took me out from under the weather.

And since my post on April 1st, I seemed to have gotten calmer and more relaxed. I'm slowly regaining my focus and last night I spent 3 solid hours preparing for a newspaper article presentation for class today and after explaining to my classmates the article, I felt a small boost.

To top things off, I got compliments on my outfit, claimed a free cup of Joe and after my recording at the studio today, my boss pulled me aside to voice her concerns about my visa and my stay here in Korea.
She also told me that the rapport between my colleagues and I are solid that she's kinda frustrated that it's taking so long to get my visa issues (for part time work) processed.

A topic which has been on the table for over a year since I started working at the station. But today made me think..

She really likes the rapport going on in the recording studio. But what if I was really sick and had to be hospitalized and can neither go to school, prepare for class, or even show how awesome this rapport is? (I'm riding this train of thought because I had a friend whom was recently hospitalized and still can't go to school because of her poor health condition)
What if in the case that I had lost these opportunities to do what I actually enjoy doing?

Its all what ifs and I do not wish they become a reality. However, this brings me to my point of being grateful for what I have. I get what people mean now when they say "be grateful for what you have". I have a voice that albeit isn't it's best because of my current cold and stuff but it's allowed me to greet my friends, meet people, say thank you, and put myself in a place where I can do work that I genuinely enjoy. 

And yes, my health issues took me a step back but thankfully I recovered in time for work a nd not have to worry about that.
What I'm saying is, I'm really glad that I as much as I'm not in tip top condition physically, I'm grateful that I still can stand up, cook myself breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Simple things like that is helping me give myself the boost I need as my emotional and mental states are also doing a slow recovery from the beating that I let happen to myself. A process which will happen to us once in a while because we're unfamiliar with how to deal with them.

But today as I walked to the subway station to the next thing on my schedule, I thought about how much I know I would potentially feel like I have to limit myself if something severe were to happen to me. It was at that moment that I felt a tad better than I was last week where I was standing on the streets crying through sunglasses blanketed by condensation from my tears.

I won't be surprise if this thought gets short lived if it does happen, but for now, I wanna share this moment with you and I hope that you join me in this train ride even if it'll be short lived.